playing pretend

I've finally discovered a way to somehow teach myself to get used to being home alone whenever Francis is away on a field work (not that he's often away), aside from asking my sis or sis-in-law to sleep over our place--I've learned to play pretend.

The idea came to me this afternoon at work. I thought that maybe, if I pretend that I'm really living alone, like I'm in college and I'm away from home renting a place near my university, maybe I can get by without missing Francis too much.

And so when I got back, I popped in some CD, turned up the volume a bit and proceeded to prepare my late dinner while swaying to the music, all the while imagining that I've been doing this for a year or so now. Well, of course, I still had to go online and Skype with Francis, but that's beside the point.

Anyway, the only problem with this scheme of mine is going to bed. I find it really difficult sleeping alone in our place. It's just different knowing that I'm alone in our bed. Don't get me wrong, I've grown used to sleeping alone in my room in our house in Taytay, especially after my beloved lola passed away (we sleep in the same room but on separate beds; better that way so there's someone with lola in case she needs something at night). This time, it's just...weird, like there's something missing (well, there definitely is someone missing). So that part I don't know how to get around yet.

Maybe I can pretend that I'm an insomniac and not sleep until dawn? Come to think of it, I already did that before.