Last year, my first blog entry was about how Francis proposed to me in Baguio. Seems like a very good way to start off 2008. And now looking back to the year that just waved goodbye, I can say that yes, it was a pretty good year for me--perhaps not that fab--but good enough for me to say there are no regrets.
Of course, there have been ups and downs, but generally, 2008 fared better than other years. For one, the year was busy with wedding preparations--how can that be not exciting, right? Then, there were those many work-related out-of-town trips that really made me realize how I want to travel more and appreciate how beautiful this country is, how fun it is to immerse oneself in a different environment even just for a day or two (that Benguet trip was the best of it all). These trips also allowed me to have my photos published--to my delight.
But perhaps the best experience that 2008 gave me happened during my OB trip to Albay. It has been a great lesson taught to me by God: I need to wait it out some more, and that good enough is never good enough. It was a lesson well-learned that I had this desire to share it to other people, and I thank the Lord for giving me that opportunity when I was asked to testify during our Thanksgiving Sunday at church last November.
I was so close to finally reaching my dream of writing--just writing. I mean, sure, my present job gives me the opportunity to write with byline; it's just that it was never part of my job description per se. It just so happened that I get to write as a side job (being in a magazine publishing industry and all; which reminds me, this year brought in a lot of writing stints on the side!), but writing with byline is never part of the deal with what I'm doing right now in our department (we're sort of an in-house ad agency). So when that dream opportunity came knocking at my door, I grabbed it without really thinking. And just when I was that close to finally getting it, I had to turn my back not because I want to but because I just had to. Some people, like I said in my entry before, may not understand why I did it, why I turned my back to it. But in the bigger scheme of things, I know that if I took it, if I took the easy road and said yes, in the end I would've regretted it. I had to turn my back because there are certain things I can't compromise. It was hard. It was shattering. It was that one point when I questioned God why He should make me wait some more as if the waiting I'd done wasn't enough. Why wasn't this His will? I could've just ignored that small voice and just went in for the big thing, but the voice, albeit tiny, was loud enough for me not to ignore. Apparently, the decision I made didn't come with immediate peace.
But now, looking back, I know I've already made my peace with that decision. God didn't took so long to give me the calm I asked for after He said "no" to me. And until now, when I go through what happened in my head, I am so happy to say that I did make the right decision. There are still times when I ask myself where I would be right now had I decided otherwise--I could perhaps be doing what I've always wanted to do, but I know I won't feel the peace I have now.
Indeed, there are no regrets for 2008. And I look forward to a brand new year as I saunter into a brand new chapter of my life: that of being a Mademoiselle Funa.
