pen and paper issues

Thanks to Sam, Cinds and Mari-an
for these purty notebooks!

Christmas brought me three shiny, cute notebooks. It must be a way of telling me to sit down and write again. Pen "cryptic" lines of poetry and submerge myself in the beauty of free verse. I'm afraid it's been a long while now since I've written a decent line or two. I should really jumpstart the new year with at least one set of decent syntax.

---

The New Year brings a new challenge in my career life, something I never expected. I thought all along that IT was solely mine for the taking; apparently, I was wrong. But I should not even be feeling bad about this challenge. I should not cringe and then turn my back to it. A new year calls for a new strategy--face up to the challenge and tackle it head-on. No room for being a coward now. Fight, fight, fight!

cheers

A very Merry Christmas to everyone!

Amid the merry-making, let us not forget the real reason behind the celebration--that He came to this world for the sole purpose of saving us.

Huggles to everyone!

when our house almost caught fire...

On this late Friday night, as I was walking home from work, I can't help but hear the silence that envelopes the streets of our subdivision. It was deafening, and definitely peaceful than the chaos that woke me up this morning.

A big fire was already raging right at the back of our house, and I had no clue. In fact, I was somewhat pissed at the noise that roused me from a mere 5-hour sleep. But something told me I need to get up and see what was happening. The first thing that came to my sleepy head was "Could there be a fire?", and I was hoping I'd find something less frightening than that.

It was a little past 7am. There it was, licking the early morning air. Right across our house, our neighbors were already running like headless chickens trying to carry as many items they can save. Yet I was there dumbstruck. When unbelievable things like this happen, I freeze for a couple of seconds, then I move. First things first: I need to call my mom. So I ran back to the house, straight to my room and grabbed my mobile to start dialing. In my other hand was the landline as I called Francis. At this point, I still hadn't realize the horror of what was happening, until, in the middle of dialing phone numbers, I heard an explosion. Then it hit me: since the fire was just at the back of our house, with a half-done firewall as the only protection we have, debris on fire could very well fall on our roof and consume the house in minutes. I was screaming on my mobile--screaming for my mom to please hurry and pick up and tell me what to do. Three, four, seven rings. No answer. Then Francis was on the other line, and by this time, I was in hysterics, finally realizing that I am utterly helpless in this situation. So helpless I was screaming and crying and panicking like I never had.

Yet I had to try and pull myself together--salvage whatever rational thinking was left. I remembered Mommy firmly reminding us years ago that in case a fire breaks out, we are to first save this one important brown hand bag that contains all important documents. Adrenaline rush made me run as fast as I could to my Mom's room, reached for that precious bag and handed it to one of my aunts who was outside waiting for me. Our other relatives and neighbors were telling me to secure the dogs so they could go inside our house and bring out things that needed saving. But my two dogs were both agitated by the commotion around them, and I didn't know how to secure them or where to hide them.

Ginger just gave birth to five pups.
I need to save my dogs.
I need to hide them some place in the house so I can let the people in and help me bring out our appliances.
I'm worried that they might bite anyone who gets inside the house.
I need to save the pups, but was also worried that Ginger might attack me.
I need to contact my mom.
I need to save our things.
I need the fire to stop.
Oh Lord, help please.

I think that for a number of minutes, I was just running in and out of the house like a madwoman who had no idea what to do. What can I save? Rushing back to my room, I frantically grabbed my camera bag, laptop and the bag I used the previous night. Handed them over to my aunt. Went back to the house again. Clapton followed me and I had to shoo him outside. I can't let him get trapped inside our house in case the situation gets worse. I was standing, running, looking around for things to save. My aunt was screaming at me to get out of the house.

I've never felt so helpless in my life.

When I finally rushed out, she dragged me to their place, which is a few blocks aways from ours. I was still trying to reach my mom. Still, there was no answer. Their office phone just kept ringing like her mobile. Then I decided to call Francis again, and was told that he already left to go to our place. Handing my phone to my cousin Charmaine, I felt my chest was about to explode. I was a few blocks away from our abandoned house. I abandoned our house without saving anything except for the things I was able to carry. Finally, my cousin was able to reach my mom, and I had to grab the phone from her so I can tell my mom to please come home now because there's a fire. And as I was looking at our place from my aunt's veranda, I could not help but breakdown, sobbing. Was I to just stand there and watch our house burn to ashes?

My aunt wouldn't let me go back. Why wouldn't she let me go back? Is our house already on fire? I need to save my dogs! I need to save whatever I can!

But I just stood there, shaking and almost blacking out. I had to be forced to sit down while I was dialing my sister's number. I never took my eyes away from our house, and I was somehow relieved to see the firefighters on top of our roof hosing down the flames. My sister picked up, and I told her what was happening in between sobs.

My aunt, my cousin, and this very kind old lady were all telling me to calm down, the fire's now under control. Loud firetruck alarms could be heard from all directions, and that's when I knew God answered my pleas.

Minutes after that went by in a whirl. I only remember going back to our house to check if there was anything amiss inside. It was like reclaiming something you almost lost. And when I touched the windows that were inches away from the fire, with only an unfinished wall in between them, I was shocked to feel they were quite hot. The fire was that close to consuming a home we've lived in for more than two decades now. Losing it not only means losing all the material possessions we have. It's like watching this big, yellow monster gobbling up all precious memories I have ever since I was four years old. And I think memories are more important than a TV set or a component or a DVD player.

Francis arrived, and my aunt made us stay at their place while we waited for my mom. Ten minutes or so elapsed, I saw my mom in front of our house, and I ran. She told me she sprained her right ankle trying to get home as fast as she could. I worried about her, that's why when I saw that the situation was already in control, I called her again to tell her to calm down and be careful on her way home. Hearing her cracking voice was enough to make my knees shake. I told her she needs to relax, that our place is safe now. Knowing she has a heart problem, I can't let her panic. Nothing compares to the sign of relief on my mom's face when she saw our house still standing like it should, and not a pile of black coals.

Thankful that we still have a house slightly scathed by the raging fire (our water pipe leaked because of the heat), we can't help but also feel sorry for one of our relatives, my mom's cousin and his family--their house was badly damaged. Our neighbor's roof, meanwhile, was turned to ashes. We also learned that five houses burned down. All these happened a few days before Christmas.

Those excruciating minutes all seem like forever now. That terrifying moment in my life now seems like a very bad dream floating in the horizon. It's a nightmare that anyone would want to wake up from. And I praise God for shaking me back from such a horrific dream. Indeed, He is our Saviour.

P.S.
Please utter a word of prayer to those who became victims of this tragedy.

at the end of a long day...

...it's just amazing to realize that lately, we're more in love. And that is such a serendipity.

she's sure to come back

I hate saying goodbyes. I'm not keen on it. But I'm expecting that she'll be back by next year. Our department will be waiting for her.

To Pat: Thanks for the friendship. I really appreciate everything, and I shall definitely miss you. You're one of those people in Special Pub I've grown to be close with. Hay. Basta, you shall be back. I just know it. And it won't be because of someone else, but because you'll miss us to death and you'll surely want to come back. When you do, let's hit Tagaytay again (or the beach since it'll be summer!). Hahahaha!

Have a safe trip and enjoy your temporary stay in NY. Do keep in touch, aiyt? Muah! God bless you always!

(Here are pics of our despedida gimmick for her.)

Peter Jackson's back?!

Image from www.thehobbit.cc

Seems like things are looking good for the much awaited The Hobbit movie! Peter Jackson is finally directing it! AND! LOTR in 3D is cooking up! Read more of the wonderful, wonderful news here.

WOOOOOHOOOOOO!

time to journey back to Narnia

Image from www.product-reviews.net

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Or should I say, "Oh prince, oh prince, prince."

I have just seen the trailer of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (it's actually the fourth book; they skipped the third one, The Horse and His Boy, because I presume they found it a bit of a drag, too, like my sis and I did).

More battle scenes, more mature roles, more complex characters. And dear Caspian is going to give Peter a run for his prettiness. Teehee!

bend it, baby!

Image from www. sironline.com

As an anniversary gift, Francis got me a new toy: a Lensbaby 2.0! Sweet!

I can't really express how happy I am for a new "baby". But as soon as I get the hang of this new toy, I'll definitely go in a shooting craze.

Sample shot. Teehee!

Thanks a lot, Pangga! You really are sooper-dooper the best! *huggles*

P.S.
Special thanks to Pat E. and Cos for the help you lent Francis. How dare you conspire against me!? Hahaha!

an idyllic monday

Pretty daybed at Sonya's Garden

Rarely, if at all, do I describe Mondays as idyllic. But the 26th was different. I went on leave, Francis did too, and we headed off to Tagaytay to celebrate nine years of a blessed relationship.

Monday morning, I woke up to the ringing phone at 8:30. I knew it was Francis beating me to be the first one to greet "Happy Anniversary!". I had to give up. He always wins even in our monthsaries. A little chit-chat and we hung up. I dozed off--proof that these days, I'm having a hard time waking up earlier than 9am. Haha! Anyway, I had to remind myself that that was a big day, so I jumped out of bed at 9:30 and went about my morning rituals. Come 12nn, I can hear Francis turning off his car engine in front of our house. Said my see-you-later to my two loving dogs then we were off to catch lunch somewhere on the way to Tagaytay.


Market! Market! was the chosen luncheon place. It was Kenny Rogers, to be more specific. After satisfying ourselves with Solo B, we headed straight to Tagaytay. I was actually worried about the weather because the previous days brought a heavy downpour. Though it wasn't totally sunny, we're thankful that our prayers were answered: the sun peeked every now and then.


We saw the cloudy sky of Tagaytay at around 4pm, and we immediately proceeded to Residence Inn Zoo--a usual destination every time we're in the area. Took a lot of pictures, of course. And when it was finally getting dark, we headed to the famous Sonya's Garden.


Tucked in Buck Estate, it took us about 5 minutes or so to reach the place. Though it was drizzling, Sonya's didn't fail our expectations. I've already read a couple of reviews about it; a former colleague of mine was even highly recommending that we visit it for a date. The moment we entered the dining room, we knew we made the right choice. And what a sweet coincidence that we were the only guests for dinner (perhaps it was a slow day due to the rain; and it was a weekday).


I've also read about the set menu that they serve, and the reviews are good. But as they say, the proof of the pudding is in the tasting. Indeed, the food is superb. The 560 tag (plus 100 service charge) per head is well worth it. For starters, it was a hefty serving of green salad with lots of garnishing. Now I am not a fan of green salad. In fact, I don't eat it at all. But I told myself that I might as well try this for the first time. And with Sonya's Secret Salad dressing, I became a convert. I even had two servings! Then came the freshly baked bread with four choices of homemade dips: anchovies, pesto, white cheese, mushroom paté and tapinade. After that, the main course was up: pasta with two choices of sauce--sun dried tomato and chicken cream with mango. The latter is heaven! I can still savor it in my mouth! There's also black olives, mushroom, capers and salmon belly, which is also gastronomic. By this time, we were already in love with Sonya's. But of course, there's still dessert, and for us, it was a slice each of chocolate cake (yummy because it's not too sweet), caramelized sweet potatoes and sweet banana rolls. And the drink? Bottomless dalandan juice and a cup each of tarragon tea. Man, we were so full and sleepy.


Before hitting the road for coffee, we strolled for a while to check out the garden, and it is indeed enchanting. The scenery would've been better had we visited at an earlier time. Still, there are no regrets, because that only means more reasons to come back (we will, actually!).


Photo ops, photo ops, then we were on our way to Starbucks to cap off the night. After an hour of unhurried conversation, we were hitting the road home.

Nine years of being together is something we'll always be proud of; and we know this is only the beginning...

(More photos here!)

when i'm at lost for words on our 9th

Looking forward to gazillion more hilarious moments
with the best musician there is on the planet and beyond!
Happy anniversary, Pangga!

I can be an a**hole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who's as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone
As closed down as I am sometimes

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

the eve of our 9th

...is spent trying to beat deadlines. Though I cannot complain, really. These are blessings. But maybe in the succeeding weeks, I'll slow down a bit. Honestly, it really gets exhausting working after a day job.

I'm also a bit worried about tomorrow's weather. For the past few hours now, I've been logged on to PAG-ASA's website monitoring typhoon Mina. But it looks like God's answered our prayers. She's now nearing Isabela. I just pray that it'll be a bright, sunny day tomorrow for the whole part of Luzon.

I'm really excited about our anniv. First, because I get to be with Francis for a whole day. Second, it's an out-of-town daytrip that he promised me (he knows I badly need to unwind away from the city). Third, there'd be lots of photos to upload, which also means that among those photos is a potential profile pic. Fourth, I get to have my haircut the day after tomorrow. I've been procrastinating on having my hair chopped because Francis begged me to skip it until after our anniv.

So, so...I really need to finish writing some stuff so I can have my "beauty rest", as Cindy puts it. Plus, I have yet to prep my garb for tomorrow. I just hope I don't pass out freezing in Tagaytay, what with the dress I plan to wear. Ho-hum.

Advanced happy 9th to us, Pangga! I'm sooooo proud of us! Let's not forget to thank Him!

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann!

Kamina, Simon and Yoko. Gurren lagann!!!
(Image from http://giapet.net)

Back in college, I was greatly hooked on animé. In fact, I was so hooked I made it a subject for my undergrad thesis, the title of which is: Animé Attack: The Effects of Japanese Action/Adventure Animation on Children's Behavior and Its Relationship with Children's Literature. I zeroed in on three prime time animé in GMA 7: Fushigi Yūgi, The Vision of Escaflowne and Dragon Ball. I remember crying over my thesis because I was so afraid I would not beat the deadline, which meant not graduating on time. But I did. And I was even surprised to have scored a sweet grade for my undergrad dissertation.

Sadly, it's been years now since I was last hooked on animé shows. But because of my ever-reliable supplier of TV series, dear friend Cos, I am again addicted to another one: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.

Cos is right. The 27-episode series is engaging. The fight scenes are awesome; the characters are lovable; the lessons are valuable. Never mind if there's that ubiquitous hint (just hint?) of perversion prevalent in most action-adventure animé.

I have yet to finish 10 more episodes before I see it over again.

Now I miss those animé days. Guess I better do some catching up.

counting my blessings

Things seem to be good lately. They may not be totally good (what could really be good when a friend passed away), but I’m happy that they’re looking up.

First, I’m all excited about Monday, the 26^th. It’s our 9^th year together, and I can’t thank God enough for giving us nine blissfully blessed years. Francis and I plan to head to Tagaytay and see what other new places it has to offer. Every year, we try something new as much as possible (though we spent our 7^th also in Tagaytay, but I’m cool with it). Francis promised me an out-of-town celebration because he knows how badly I need to escape from my job’s inhumane demands and chaotic work sched. I was actually looking at some place farther than Tagaytay, but I’m so desperate to get out of town I’d probably be happy just to go to Laguna. (Well, no, not really). So yeah, Monday is something to look forward to, and that rarely happens because I don’t usually get excited over the first day of the workweek.

Second, this project I’ve been working on is extending for next year. Let’s just say that it’s this one project (let me call it The Project) that I get worked up and happy with—perhaps this is that one project we’re advised to keep close to our hearts so we can all be sane and not resign. Haha! During our recent seminar, we were blatantly told that yes, there are indeed crappy projects; but we have to find this one, golden assignment that we’d be so proud of it could save us from insanity. And I really think this is the one. In the two years that I’ve spent in this pseudo-ad agency department, I’m surprised to see myself waking up very early in the morning despite only three hours of sleep just to make it on time for an early morning shoot. Last week, when I was told that there’d be a meeting to plan for next year, I got excited—never mind if it’s a four-hour brainstorming session.

There are actually a lot of things about The Project that makes me feel perky about, but suffice it to say that it has given me the chance to do what I really want to do and make me want to, um, stay. I would want to get into more details but I don’t want to preempt things, so let’s just leave it at that for now.

Third, I’m constantly being bombarded with blessings (in the form of the written word) that not only allow me to make regular trips to the bank, but also makes me feel fulfilled. Even though at times the load seems overwhelming, I really can’t complain. I only have to worry about my deadlines because I think I’m already lagging behind. Gah!

Fourth, a sweet “accident” recently happened: last Sunday, 18 November, was Sing!, a mini-concert prepared by our church’s Young Adults/Praise team (photos are on their way). I was only supposed to perform a solo number in that event; but one of the praise team members had an emergency so she couldn’t make it. Her role was passed on to me, and I didn’t really mind. What I did mind was the fact that I didn’t know the songs in the lineup, and I barely had a day to practice. I only got to actually learn the lineup on the night before the event. But thank God I was able to pick up and there I was, gladly leading a congregation on that night of musical worship service together with my co-Young Adults. It’s just a wonderful, wonderful feeling to have actually worshipped our Maker through the talents He’s given us. Indeed, music is one great instrument that can bless other people.

Fifth, it’s almost the end of the month, which means that Francis’ contract in Cavite will expire. He’d be back here in Manila, and we’d be back to normal. Though I know that in the future, he’d most likely be assigned to some place else, I’m taking things one day at a time. Might as well enjoy bus trips together before another assignment takes that away.

So this is how it feels to actually count your blessings. Happy sigh.

Kuya Jo, paalam...

Hey big guy in white shirt.....you'll never know how much
we'll greatly miss you...

It's not every day that I prepare myself to hear some bad news. And I was definitely unprepared for this...

Francis and I were talking over the phone when he got a text from our friend, Kuya Dex. It was one of those texts that you wish was just a joke, but it's not.

Our dear friend, co-musician, kakulitan, Kuya Joel Mendoza, already passed away.

I had to stop myself from reeling and falling over. I was hoping so much that it was just a joke. And when Francis finally spoke with Kuya Dex, the news was confirmed. I was on the other line straining to hear the conversation, hoping that I'd hear Francis laugh and curse Kuya Dex for such an evil joke.

All I heard was a tone of disbelief. I froze.

Kuya Joel is really gone...

From what we've gathered, Kuya Jo was found lifeless in their house in Parañaque this evening. Some of his other friends said that it was bangungot, and that he was already missing in action since Saturday.

Details are still sketchy. And up until now, everyone of us who've known him are still in shock. Just early this year, we saw him at a UPMC (we all met each other through this org) event, and we were all thrilled to finally see each other after a number of years.

And just a few days ago, I saw him go online in YM. I didn't even bother to drop him a line...

I really don't know what to say...He's such a sweet, soft-spoken, friendly guy who's always in skin-head (we've never seen him grow his hair) and who also loves the guitar just like Francis and Kuya Dex. And he was such a kuya. Back in college, we've been through really fun times together, even during that time when Francis was just wooing me. Now all those memories are flooding my head...but they're just that--just memories now...

Someone tell me this is just an evil joke. And whoever started it, I can readily forgive. Just please tell me this is some joke...

when you float like a cannonball

Lately, Francis has been into Damien Rice. To be precise, he's into Lisa Hannigan, Rice's accompanying vocalist. My boyfriend can't help but rave about her. And for a couple of days, he also raved about Rice's Cannonball. We would be talking over the phone during the weekend and all I would hear playing in the background is that song. Or, we'd be chatting and his stat message would read "Damien Rice-Cannonball", or some other song of the dude.

I'm not complaining. Usually, he's the first one to "discover" this artist and his obsession rubs off on me. When he had his Tori Amos phase, I soon followed; and for weeks, my iPod would be churning out Amos songs one after the other, especially when we're on the road driving. Then came Jeff Buckley. Now it's Damien Rice's turn.

So when the opportunity came, he begged me that we cover Cannonball. Because it's been a while since we've had a recording date, I gladly obliged--even if it means I had to memorize the lyrics on the spot.

A video was even recorded, originally intended to be uploaded on YouTube; but realizing that we didn't record it in a nice park with matching falling leaves in the background and the camera panning at dramatic angles, we just opted to put the audio recording up in Imeem.

So folks, hope you enjoy our rendition of pareng Damo's Cannonball.

lemme have my circadian rhythm back, puhleeeeeeeze!

This entry, considering the time I am writing this, will definitely make Francis roll his eyes; or worse, give me a cold stare when we see each other soon. Oh, or he can also pretend to not care. Hahaha!

But before he does that (yes, Pangga, before you do any of those or all of those), let me come to my own defense.

My biological clock would still be ticking normally had it not been for this project my team worked on about three weeks ago. I remember it was a Friday saying hello to Saturday. 2:30am and we were still at work attending to our client who were still in our office. And I distinctly remember feeling nauseated because of staying that late, working still.

The days following that also required me to sleep no earlier than 12mn. And so during the days when I can freely sleep as early as I can, I can't. And it's not as if I want to stay up until 3am without feeling drowsy. I myself can't believe that I'm still alive, alert, awake and enthusiastic at the wee hours of the morning. I want to really cry myself to sleep just so the sting from my tears can force my eyes to shut.

But for all it's worth, I really am trying so hard to get my circadian rhythm back on track. And a wise thought dawned upon me just a few minutes ago: a vacation. A 5-day vacation would do. I can even settle for just 3 (nights). 3 or 4 nights that won't give me any reason to stay up late; a couple of days that would take me away from all the stress of a working gal's life. That would definitely help a lot in making me a normal person again, not some little girl with panda-like eyes. Really, I need to be feeling sleepy by 12mn at the latest, so I can be at work by 10am at the latest. Because these past few weeks, I've been coming in late (not that it really puts my head on the chopping board--our department enjoys the benefits of a full-flexi setup; but still...), and that's really not good (for me).

Okay now. I better wrap this up and force myself to sleep.

Good morning, everyone! Have a grand weekend!

got tagged

Because Jonas tagged me and I need to defocus.

A busy week deprives me of time to clean up my desktop. But I'll work on this very soon.

I tag: Iza, Mems, Francis, Abby and Cindy...

---

Rules:
1.Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun.

2.Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of Icons, things like that.

3.Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.

the IT thing

Again, I have to thank Cos for introducing me to this hilarious British sitcom. Rarely do Brit shows make me laugh because their humor's a bit "unfamiliar". This one's different.

I love Roy and his shirts (and his dainty, dainty hands!!! and I mean this in a very wholesome way). Enjoy the sneak peak of The IT Crowd's pilot episode!

I heard Season 3's ongoing...Can't wait to see it!

P.S.
More info about The IT Crowd here.

a japanese burst my bubble

This week was supposed to be happy. This week was supposed to be a cause for celebration. This week, I was supposed to be rejoicing. Because this week, Francis' contract was supposed to expire. Supposed to. But did not.

In fact, their Japanese client requested that his contract be extended until the end of this month. That means 3 more painstaking weeks.

Okay, maybe I'm overreacting. (Or maybe not.)

Fine. Somehow, he and I made it through two months. Sure, the first few weeks were really an adjustment period (yes, there were irrational, petty fights), but I'm proud we made it. Thank God we made it. So now I'm praying for those additional 3 weeks that are supposed to be spent here and not there in Cavite.

To think we'd be celebrating our 9th year three Mondays from now. (This is my cue to sob.) Gah. But we shall find a way. We shall, we shall.

Oh well. I guess it really is time for a haircut. But because Francis begged me to put it off until after our anniversary, fine, then I'm putting it off (had my locks chopped off a few days before our 7th; it went too short it made me look like a typhoid-stricken porcupine cam-whoring in Tagaytay). I just don't know if I can still hold in the urge to run off to a salon for any longer. Wail, wail, wail.


P.S.
Come to think of it, an extended contract means Francis is doing well in his job. The Japs must have been quite impressed; and Francis got a thumbs up from his boss. Ergo, Francis deserves a reward.

Francis, go and ask for two free roundtrip tickets to Japan so we can parade the streets of Harajuku in our Death Note garb. I'll be Misa-misa, you can be L. Let's not forget to bring a tea cup. Now go, go, go!!!

i get to sing for Him again

Just came from church a couple of minutes ago. I was feeling a bit of under the weather due to colds, but nothing really serious that would make me want to stay in bed.

Anyway, the Young Adults planned a hangout stint at church, which required us to pitch in a100 bucks each. I arrived late, and I already ate dinner before hitting the road, so I just feasted on fluffy marshmallows and half a stick of barbecue. Then after a couple of chitchat, some of us proceeded to practice the song I'm assigned to sing this first Sunday of November.

I admit, it's been a long time since I've actually sang in church. So I got excited when I was asked to do a number together with some of my co-YP: Aerol on keyboards, Kuya Ryan on guitar, my sis on percussion, and Lew doing the second voice.

It was a good practice. Now I'm looking forward to Sunday.

With this, I share the piece we're performing. I do hope and pray that this song, Amazing Love, be a blessing to everyone who's reading this entry.

boo hoo!

Image from www.concierge.com

These places are pretty interesting. I think I wanna drop by Easter Island and say hello to the moai there.

and another wave comes crashing

I like road trips. No, I love road trips. The whole experience of seeing the view along miles and miles of concrete road that merges with dirt roads; the unexplainable happiness I feel when stopping over a gas station at the expressway, meeting people from different walks of life whose souls are also yearning to escape from the chaos of urbanism; the laughter shared with friends when all of you are awake, or the silence that takes over when everyone, except the poor driver, is snoozing; the road trip playlist that you almost forgot to load in your mp3 player the night before (for me, Pure Shores by All Saints is always cool on the road, especially when you're hitting the beach).

Everything about going out of town is just wonderful. Just thinking about it right this moment makes me want to pack my bags and go to some place I can find solitude from the past month's crazy schedule. Yes, as predicted, I want to escape to Baguio again. I do not have to enumerate the reasons why because I've already written about my fascination and my love affair with the place a couple of times now.

Unfortunately, the long weekend has no out-of-town trip in store for me. I really wish there is one, even if it's just in Tagaytay. I do believe I deserve such a break. Non-stop shoots and inhumane deadlines, not to mention some emotional stress on the side, are taking their toll on my frail body. My circadian rhythm has been disrupted, and right now, I'm struggling to get it right back on track.

I really, really need a break. Francis, dear, can we plan a short escape and collect snow cherries from France*? Teehee.

*Snow Cherries from France by Tori Amos was playing while we were driving along a highway in Tagaytay when we celebrated our 7th anniversary. (This is a run-on sentence, I know.)

somebody tickle me

So Erap got a presidential pardon.

This must be the best joke there is in Philippine history.

But I'm not laughing. And for the record, this is the only joke I've heard that made me utterly mad and extremely frustrated.

I shall now weep for this country.

addicted to jef

Last Saturday night, I was Sandra Bullock and Francis was Keanu Reeves and we were in Speed. We were trying not to speed down, lest we’d overheat and get stuck in the middle of EDSA at past 12 in the morning.

A few hours before our mini adventure, we were on our way to Megamall to finally buy my new toy, an Acer Aspire 4710. We were already on Julia Vargas; just as we were to cross Meralco Avenue, Francis noticed that the heat meter was slowly going up. Funny, we were both in panic, as if a bomb was about to go off. Good thing we made it to Caltex without me having to push the car.

After consuming a drum-full of water, we were finally heading to Mega. And then it happened again—the meter was slowly pushing its way to the red bar. Good thing we still made it to the first parking lot level.

So anyway, after much trouble getting to Megamall, we finally arrived in one piece. Met up with Rein so he can help me inspect my purchase, proceeded to dinner at Cabalen’s after buying Jef (yes, I named my lappy toppy Jef in honor of Rein. *winks*), then headed to Starbucks to grab some caffeine and reformat Jef so we can install a new OS.

Then the most horrible thing happened. I saw this tiny red dot on the LCD. Plus, we had a hard time reformatting the lovely thing. So since we still had time to go back to Villman, we did. After threats from Rein, the people there finally agreed to have the unit replaced the following day. But they said at first that red dots are not bad for as long as there are only a minimum of three. But you can’t say that to an oc-oc.

So we had to still try and test Jef. It took a couple of hours to install programs and drivers into Jef (that’s why I had to sleep over Francis’ place). We also had a hard time figuring out why the WLAN driver from the Acer website won’t work. Turned out, we were installing the wrong driver. We figured it out in the end and we blame Acer website for the confusion. Harhar.

After much trouble, I opted not to have it replaced. Researching about red dots (they’re either dead or stuck pixels that often appear in LCDs due to manufacturing defect), I was convinced one dot would do no harm (Francis’ laptop has one, too), unless of course after a week or so, there’d be numerous dots spelling out A-C-E-R. So far, it’s still one, tiny red dot.

So there. I’m still reveling in Jef. I believe he’ll help me advance my writing career. Haha!

Many thanks to Rein and Francis. And Rein, in case you wanna see Jef (not my laptop), just let me know, I’d be happy to return the favor.

the silence in letting go

Through time, I have learned the value of not expecting much from people and circumstances. And that has done me good.

Still, I surprised myself with how gracefully I absorbed the not-so-good news: there is fierce competition. And I had the courage to face the fact that in this little "battle" I've involved myself in, I don't have the upper hand. In fact, I think I have little chances of winning.

You see, I've had enough of disappointments from expecting too much. Perhaps that's why sometimes, people find me a pessimist. But like I said earlier, being such does me well. I can expect and anticipate the worst-case scenario and run the many probable solutions in my head. At least by doing so, I'm prepared for the bad news.

Yet despite the preparation for things like that, one thing caught me unprepared. Not having the upper hand is fine with me; but not having a choice is something I never expected. That's something I forgot to anticipate for. And that is such a big blow for me.

Not having a choice is like being trapped inside this little steel box. And while you're inside having panic attacks, you see someone putting the lid back on. So you just wait for someone, or something, to remove that lid and let you out. You just wish that when your emancipation comes, you still have an ounce of strength and sanity left.

I would've been okay, actually, had it not been for not having a viable option--a way out. Maybe there is, but I just refuse to tread that road, knowing it'll only lead me farther away from what I want. And this box I'm in right now is enough to make me lose hope.

I just wish the lid will be put away soon. Before it's too late.

mandy moore-ing

Because I'm finally done with my Gensan article for Masigasig, I'm treating myself to one of my girl crushes, Mandy Moore (the "treating" part doesn't sound right, though. Oh well...). I guess her choice of not baring her skin just to sell albums made me admire her. (I forgive her my-lips-have-their-own-lives-apart-from-the-rest-of-my-body days; she's improved a lot now.)

Last weekend, I stumbled upon the latest video of her latest single from her latest album, "Wild Hope". Found the MTV cute. Man, I wonder how many outfits the stylist had to think of for that video! Top choices would be: Mandy wearing a belted, white, knee-length dress with boots as she's climbing a ladder (there's actually 2 Mandys); then she in a long, white dress with vest (following that white dress-boots ensemble); then the succeeding one where she's in a hippie top, bandana, and jeans; and lastly, Mandy in a long, red dress climbing another ladder. Now those are four inspirations for four days of not knowing what to wear! Perfect!

So anyway, here's the video.



I just wish "Wild Hope" will be released here soon. Anyway, as a bonus, found another video of her where she covers Rihanna's Umbrella. I didn't like the song when I first heard it (Rihanna's version, that is), but I guess it just grew on me. But I like Mandy's version better (forget Marie Digby!).

just 'cause i'm feelin' lazy to work

Got this from Aia.

[1] Whats your middle name?
Mislang
[2] Would you rather get 1,12 or 24 roses?
One black rose.
[3] How big is your bed?
Big enough for me and all the mess. Hahaha!
[4] What are you listening to right now?
Tattooed on my mind is playing in my head right now.
[5] What are the last 4 digits in your cell phone number?
9981
[6] What was the last thing you ate?
A cupcake that tastes like lemon.
[7] Last person you hugged?
Online, my boyfriend Francis. In person, it's Moks, my former officemate who's now with Summit (so that makes her my current officemate).
[8] How is the weather right now?
Cool.
[9] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Francis.
[10] What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
Face and hands. I'm attracted to dainty hands.
[11] Favorite type of Food?
Chinese, Filipino, Italian, Korean (but no kimchi, please)
[12] Do you want children?
Yes! Two.
[13] Do you drink?
No.
[14] Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
Nuh-uh.
[15] Hair color?
Jet black.
[16] Eye color?
Dark brown.
[17] Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Yes, both.
[18] Favorite holiday?
Christmas!!!
[19] Favorite season?
Summer. And drizzling days.
[20] Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
Uhm, yes.
[21] Last Movie you Watched?
I Know Who Killed Me.
[22] What books are you reading?
Right now, it's Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose. I have yet to get back to reading it.
[23] Piercings?
Just ears.
[24] Favorite Movie?
Death Note, Death Note: The Last Name, Transformers, of course, Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Matrix, Kill Bill, Charlie's Angels, Finding Nemo, Jurassic Park, Signs, Beauty and the Beast, Never Been Kissed, 50 First Dates, The Passion of the Christ, Serendipity, Dead Poets Society, Big Fish, Finding Forrester, Mr. Holand's Opus, My Sassy Girl (the non-Tagalized version)........
[25] Favorite college football Team?
Next question, please.
[26] What were you doing before filling this out?
Surfing the net/procrastinating.
[27] Any pets?
2 dogs and a pair of parakeet.
[28] Dogs or cats?
Doggies!
[29] Favorite Flower?
Mums and tulips.
[30] Have you ever loved someone?
Oooh, yes.
[31] Who would you like to see right now?
Francis. And my grandma.
[33] Do you like to travel by train?
By bus.
[34] Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right. But I want to be ambidextrous.
[35] If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
London. Cavite. Baguio. All at the same time.
[36] Are you missing someone?
Huhuhu. Yes...
[37] Do you have a tattoo?
Nadah.
[38] Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
Not anymore, but I want to.
[39] Are you hiding something from someone?
Hmmm...maybe?
[41] What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
A picture of Francis on both phones.
[42] Did you get enough sleep last night?
I guess. Finally!
[44] What do you have handy at your bedside?
My mobile phone and my Bible. And many books. Hahaha!
[45] What makes you unique?
I can be very eccentric...
[46] Are you afraid of the dark?
Not that much.
[47] Favorite song?
As of the moment, that would be Sober by Kelly Clarkson and that one kilig/sad song (Korean) from Full House. But Do-As Infinity songs never fail to pick me up (Do-As is a now defunct Japanese band).
[48] What are you afraid of?
Failing. And dying in the sea or of asthma.
[49] Are you a giver or taker?
Both. But being a giver makes me feel fuzzy. Teehee!
[50] what are your nicknames?
Shine, Sun, Sunskie, Skie

so i really AM a fag hag...

Francis and I watching My Bestfriend's Wedding at their place.

Me: Crush na crush ko dyan si Rupert Everett!

Francis: Bading kase eh!

Me: Ay, oo nga...

(Apparently, I'm blog-whoring here. Man, I need to start working on my article. But because I'm currently preoccupied with cable TV and free Internet, I think I'll work on it tomorrow. Hahaha!)

when shall oble rise?

Image from www,pinoytravelblog.com

The blue eagles succumbed to the bows and arrows of the green archers.

Our neigbor lost. (Sad face here.)

I wonder (and I always catch myself asking this same question every UAAP season): When will the Maroons shine? Panahon pa ata ni Paras when my dear Alma Mater won in the UAAP! (In fact, Paras and his teammates during that time are now retired from pro basketball! Goodness gracious!!!)

I just hope that next year, as we celebrate our centennial, the UP Maroons will at least make it to the final four. C'mon guys, make us proud! I'm so dying to cheer for you at the big dome! Kahit mag-production number pa 'ko!

Or would I just be better off hiding behind nekkid Oble?

just turned into a rockstar vampire

Image from blog.searchanyway.com

Now it's official. I think I shall be hooked on yet another social networking site. I have only my office pals to blame (they invited me).

So whatareyahwaitingfor!? Go invite me in Facebook! And I shall chump you with my rockstar vampiric fangs.

stellar experience

Image from Wikipedia

Ooooh! I can't wait to see the Mars of my dreams!

counting down the days

Because I was tasked with reviewing Natalie Imbruglia's latest album, Glorious, The Singles, I had the chance to revisit her songs that I've since liked. And because of being away from him for three weeks now, one of the songs in the album came to life and hit home. Verbatim. Even if it sounds a tad too mushy.

So this is for him.

You were right
And I don't want to be here if you're gonna be there
Was that supposed to happen?

I'll hold tight
I'll remember to smile
Though it has been a while
And without you does it matter?

There's no room
No place to start
When our souls are apart

I want to travel through time
See your surprise
I'd hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just want to be a million miles away from here
I'm counting down the days

How've you been?
It's just the usual here
And days are feeling like years
And every day's without you

Now I cry just a little too much
When I think of your touch
And everything about you

I feel cold
I'm in the dark
When our souls are apart

I'm counting down the days
I'm counting down the days
I'm gonna be you surprise
I'm gonna hold you so tight

I just want to be a million miles away from here
A million miles away from here

laughing our arses off

So okay. I'm trying to convince myself that Bong's really an Art Director and not a schizophrenic buff man on the loose.

Here are videos for evidence.

(Peace, Bong!)

this is career rape

Je vous ai manqués en Pangasinan...

Being busy the past two weeks is an understatement, but I'm glad that most of those busy days were spent shooting for Masigasig–which brought me to Pangasinan last Sept. 17-18 (with Pat, Cindy, photog Mark and our driver Kuya Jason); to General Santos City just last Sept. 23-24 (with photog Mark); and tomorrow, Sept. 27, to Silang Cavite (will be dragging Bong and Mems, together with photog Ging Lorenzo and makeup artist Jen Balbuena).

So apparently, the wanderer in me is oh so satisfied...and craving for more. Can I just get paid writing and traveling (and taking photos?). If only...

But due to the excruciatingly busy workload that the new assignments brought to me and teammate Sam, I haven't had time to blog about these past trips. In fact, I just started resizing the photos for upload. (Lotsa photos will be up soon.)

So in the next few months, if I'm not visible in the blogosphere, that means work is raping me and I'm all wasted.

This will be the death of me.

in anticipation of Heroes

Mad TV rocks!

(Season 2's just a few sleeps away!!!)

escapism

There's this sudden, urgent need to repost this:

Because I no longer want to be constrained.
Because I no longer want to be a mere puppet for unreasonable minds.
Because I don't want to be forever saying yes.
Because I want to speak my mind.
Because I don't want to be boxed in.
Because I believe in creative freedom.
Because I know I can do better.
Because I am not a slave to other people's daft wishes.
Because I feel like I'm sinking deep into the muck of complacency.
Because there are better things for me.
Because I'm no longer happy here.
Because I could be happier.
Because enough is enough.
Because I no longer want to.

I just badly need to break down; then I'll be fine.

it's very welcome

A view from Quezon Island, one of the Hundred Islands
in Lingayen, Pangasinan. Image from wikipedia.com.

Stress, loneliness, and a pint of depression have been getting the best of me lately. So I guess a Masigasig writing/shoot assignment in Pangasinan comes at a good timing. This time around, it's not a day trip (unlike the Baguio assignment; which reminds me–I have yet to scan and upload my 2 Tagalog cover stories. Yey, Tagalog! Challenging, I say. And this Pangasinan article is a break from all the recent katalinghagaan, because it'll be in English).

Cindy, Pat, and I, together with our fotog Mark Ang and reliable driver Kuya Jason, will head off to Lingayen on Monday, leaving Manila at 6am. Then it's back to reality on Tuesday. That's another trip to look forward to. Working for Masigasig is a breath of fresh air–a much appreciated break from all the suffocating semi-advertising work.

And this Sunday's gonna be a good day. I get to see Francis after a week of limited chat on the phone and 144 hours of missing him (no one dare tell me how mushy I am).

I can somehow handle stress from work. But the stress from missing him? I'm not so sure.

Oh well. Let's just see what the following week has in store for little me. For now, I better head home. Staying late at work almost every day this week is torture to my brain cells.

when we're asked to perform miracles

When extremely stressed, just laugh it all off.

No need for me to run thru the gory details of putting together a decent shoot. It's enough to say that I had to work during the weekend to pull off this particular shoot. Oh well...

So anyway, here's the link of that painstaking shoot. And here's another one (relatively peaceful and fun) the day after that.

it's getting hot in heeeeere!

Nagiging ganito ba talaga kainit sa Japan?!?!?

ride with me

(So yeah, am presently in this stage that gets experienced by anyone at one point in his/her life. Join me in my emotional roller coaster and maybe we can enjoy the experience together. Bleh.)

With my very recent re-acquaintance with dear, old asthma, I only had one question in mind: Why? All these years I thought I've already outgrown the dreaded monster of my childhood, with only very mild attacks once or twice a year. Until last week. You know how it feels to struggle to suck in every ounce of air you can, but much to your fear and panic, the air doesn't even seem to reach your poor lungs? If you've seen Shyamalan's Signs, you'll definitely know what I'm talking about–that scene where Rory Culkin's character was desperately and painfully trying to breathe while his dad was clutching for his son's dear life. It's like that. It's real. And it's still with me.

I attribute my unpleasant reunion with the Big A to the fact that we let one of our dogs stay inside the house. We had to isolate dear Clapton from his sis Ginger to avoid further complications (and expenses). For the love of our dogs, Big A had to visit me.

Now our two beloved canines have had a dose of their own distressing experience. I'm just a bit tired to talk about it here. Suffice it to say that the family had shared a heart-breaking experience when the vet visited them and diagnosed Ginger with a life-threatening disease, and that Clapton had to be confined for a couple of days. We're just hoping that both dogs will be fine soon (Clapton seems to be, at least). And the sooner they get better, the longer I'd live.

Then comes this big change. I'm not big on changes, especially when they involve a very cozy part of my life that I've gotten so used to for so long. Have that cozy part stirred and I might as well jump off a cliff. Hay. So what the heck am I yapping about?

It's Francis' new, shiny job. Finally, he gets to be a real engineer. And being a real one means having to go to field works that defy the law of reasonable proximity. And come this Sunday, he shall be packing his bags for a month or so assignment in Cavite.

Before anyone of you reacts violently and begin calling me an over-reacting, über mushy girlfriend, lemme explain. For almost 9 years now, Francis and I never experienced not being able to see each other for more than a week. Sure, he's had field work assignments that took him to different places, but that's only for a maximum of about five days.

A month–and the very big possibility that it might even take longer than that–is absurd. Plus, there's also that looming possibility of an out-of-the-country assignment. That's even more absurd!

It would take me long before I can finally cope with this big change. How's the every night phone calls? The three or more times a week meet ups? Movie dates? Jam sessions?

Me?

I know, I know. This is for his career growth. And yes, for our relationship, too. Sometime, sooner or later, this change is bound to happen. It's just that with all that's going on (read: I'm still not writing full-time. I'm still stuck in this limbo.), managing to handle this big a change is the least thing I should worry about. But that's not happening. I worry about it every single day now. In fact, it even scares me. Like part of me feels that being miles apart would eventually translate to growing apart. NONONONONONONONONONONO! The Lord help us! But I also know we're better than that. I'm just not really good at handling things like this.

So there. I'm a bit lost. And being able to breathe normally would do me good during times like this.