new beginnings

This will most likely be my last post for this year.

Every new year, I picture myself literally holding on to the December page of the calendar, trying to grasp whatever memories–good or bad–that the incumbent year has given me. But of course, I've no other choice but to let go. What with all the happy and crackling sounds around me, I'd probably be too distracted to even hold on to the page.

2006 is the year I would like to hold on to for long. This was the last year we spent with Nanay. I still miss her a lot. A LOT. But I know, as cliche as it is, that time heals. And time won't be able to perform its healing miracles if I continue to stop it from ticking.

Still, the next year promises so many new things for everyone. I just hope and pray that those new things would be mostly good, if not better. I say "mostly" because I would not want to wish everyone a perfect year, much as I want to. That's just not reality. Plus, if everything's perfect, appreciating better times won't be the same.

Yesterday, I got a new planner (I'm obsessed with getting/buying one every time the year ends). I feel like I have another set of pages on which I can tangibly record my hopes and my I-plan-to's. And when I did jot them down yesterday, I realized I haven't been as driven as I was supposed to be this year. I still wrote down a couple of plans that were supposed to be realized this year, but sadly, they remained as plans. I just wish that starting January, I'd be ticking off those plans I've written, one by one. Big and small. Probable or seemingly improbable. So yes, next year is another big opportunity to start things over, but I hope to have a better game plan. (I trust Him to lead me to a better game plan.)

Indeed, the coming year is something to look forward to. And this passing year, together with everything it brought, is something to keep as a precious memory.

Have a blessed and renewed new year, every one!

still feeling fuzzy

I've always loved the Christmas season. Everything just seems cheerful and warm and stress-free. Makes me feel real fuzzy all over.

Christmas Eve was spent with the pups (that's why I'm still not free from hives–I really think I'm allergic to something in them! Poor me!) and a visit from a handful of our church (Emmanuel Baptist Church) friends. I'm glad they loved my mom's carbonara–well, my mom makes the best! While having pasta, we all slumped down and watched Gothika. Unfortunately, the brady bunch had to get going back to church (or to another house to raid), so we weren't able to finish watching it. (Well actually, sis and I already watched it. We just liked to scare ourselves all over again.) Just lent it to Peewee so he and his bros can continue the Christmas Eve fright. (I love it when people from EBC drop by our place this time of every year. Teehee!)

Christmas is for kids!

It has been a wonderful Christmas Eve. Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy. Hope everyone had a dandy and blessed time, too!

have a blessed holiday season, everyone!

It's just 3 days before Christmas and everyone's still out in the streets (and in the malls) doing their last-minute Christmas shopping (me included). Traffic's heavy and lines are so long. And I'm still here in the office trying to make up for lacking hours (lest I get shocked again with my salary deduction). I'm just feasting on chocolate mousse cake with lots of squishy marshmallows to console myself (more than half of the guys here at our department already went home early). Meanwhile, Francis is presently trying to enjoy himself at their company Christmas party. I'd be seeing him tomorrow because he promised to give me my present, so I look forward to that.

I wonder how it is to spend Christmas in Baguio. It must be fantastically and mesmerizingly cool!

The other day, a friend asked me why I'm so perky (well, I usually am. Perhaps I'm just living up to my name). And why not? It's the holidays–it's Christmas time, my favorite time of the year. Though come to think of it...this is the first holiday season that my family would be spending without Nanay. That's something to dampen my spirit. Still, I know she's very happy up there, enjoying her own Christmas celebration with the Lord Himself! (What a Christmas!)

So there. Got not much else to say save for: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! MUAH! *huggles, huggles*

"dying is an art"

Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
-Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath

Last night gave me the chance to catch up on being a couch potato (it's so happy to go home early!), so I was able to watch Sylvia. Such a sad, sad story of a great female poet, Sylvia Plath. And somehow, I came to wonder why such gifted people end up committing suicide (in artistic ways, mind you). Such depression, such angst. But I do empathize with the poet–she was so in love with her husband Ted Hughes, only to end up in agony over his affair with another poet's wife, Assia Wevill (who also happened to be an aspiring poet herself). Add the fact that Sylvia suffered from bouts of severe depression after her father's demise. She first attempted to end her life by crawling into a cellar after taking a handful of sleeping (?) pills. But it seems as though Death did not want her yet. She was found by her mother and was given a second lease on life. However, Ted Hughes' affair was the last straw. Before gassing herself to death in her own kitchen, she made sure her two children (from Ted) were safe in their room. She prepared for them milk and bread and opened their bedroom windows for ventilation, after which she sealed their bedroom door with towels so the gas won't harm her children. The movie depicted her suicide act metaphorically, and this I appreciate very much (the depiction, not the suicide).

Like I said , watching the film (and reading other writers' biographies) makes me wonder if artists really bring upon themselves such catastrophic ending. (Anne Sextion, Plath's contemporary and friend, also committed suicide by shutting herself in her garage, consequently dying of carbon monoxide poisoning; Antoine de Saint-Exupery allegedly committed suicide by crashing his plane while on a reconnaissance flight; then there's Vincent Van Gogh, who shot himself in the chest with a revolver.) Did such creative genius push these artists to their own death? What could be happening inside their confused minds? And to think Plath and Sexton seemed so normal and happy before they suddenly ended their lives! It's just kind of depressing to learn that these people chose to end everything they have (though I'm sure they think they have none left for them), leaving posthumous awards and citations.

It's just so...sad...

(Image from www.culturapara.art.br/opoema/sylviaplath/images)

randomness is pretty

Due to lack of sensible things to do while waiting for the holiday break, let me share my thoughts...

1. I want to go home.
2. I'm still not done shopping for Christmas.
3. Buses stopping here in Galleria won't budge because the drivers bribe MMDA people with P10. How cheap! How baffling!
4. The call of an editorial job is haunting me. Every single day now.
5. I feel sooooo lazy ever since I got back from Baguio.
6. Christmas is a wonderful season to go broke, because you know you're able to share what you have.
7. A new haircut seems appealing. I'm seeing Charlize Theron's do in Aeon Flux. Hmmm...
8. It's forever exciting to give gifts to people you cherish dearly. Do hope mom, sis and Francis like what I got for them.
9. SM has it all for you. Period.
10. Sometimes, it's a pain in the pocket to work inside a mall. It calls for extreme self-restraint.
11. Two years seem so long for us to get married. But I can wait.
12. Lumpiang ubod is the best!
13. Wish I could meet my online friends.
14. I miss our puppies. We love them so much.
15. I need to really, REALLY start waking up early and moving fast and remember to NOT hit the snooze button so I can come to work as early as 9 or 9:30am.
16. Why are comfort room cubicles always full when you're in a hurry?
17. I'm bored. And happy.
18. Traveling is, I think, what I'd want to do for a very long time. I just need the resources.
19. Egypt is tantalizingly mystical.
20. Is the rafflesia edible?
21. Will this country ever make it?
22. Baguio is heaven on earth.
23. How free it is to see one's life in poetry.
24. Poetry is the song of the soul.
25. I'm afraid I can never be a full-fledged poet. Or maybe....

my sister won the lotto!

No, she didn't. But she's now a full-fledged engineer! And she even made it to the Top 20! Wahooo! Can't wait for her first-pay treat! Hahaha!

Congratulations, Erma! That's another of God's blessings for you!

Mom, Francis, RJ (sis' beau) and I went with her last Sunday to Manila Hotel to witness the oathtaking of this country's newest Chemical Engineers (or as the ticket put it, "Checmical Engineers". Man, a ticket costs 800 bucks and it has a typo? Duh.). We we're so afraid that we might not make it to Manila Hotel by 1pm, as there was an expected prayer rally near the vicinity. Thank God the traffic was still normal, we were able to make it on time.

The food served was good. Sulit ang 800! Though our table had to finish two cups of coffee before the creamer we requested arrived.

And being the aspiring photographer sister that I am, of course I took charge of documenting the event in pixels. Here are some of the photos. (Please don't expect them to be artsy.)

The oathtakers reciting "Panatang Makabayan". Nah, they're really saying "I am now an engineer so please
give me a job or else my parents would throw me out." And that's my sis with a rose in hand.

The UP Diliman "Checmical" Engineers! UP Diliman made it as this year's best performing school–
51 out of 51 board takers passed! UP FIIIIGHT!

Tres marias

RJ, sis, mom, moi and Isko

I miss you, grampa!

it's a sad, sad truth...

I felt relieved to have learned that Daniel Smith has finally been convicted of the rape of Nicole. But I felt nauseated to also have learned that there still are people out there who live up to patriarchal idealisms/perspective.

Months before the Subic rape case was resolved, I heard this man comment on radio (while I'm aboard an FX on my way to work) that it's the girl's fault that she was raped, and that women like her, who party until dawn under the influence of booze, doesn't really deserve sympathy. That women like her (assuming she's a prostitute) really deserve to be abandoned after being used, just like a tissue paper. The pig! I just felt vindicated when the radio commentators answered that pig back, saying that if he thinks women are like a sheet of tissue paper, then he must be the toilet bowl. Hurrah!

And then the other day, someone I know commented that he doesn't believe Nicole to be telling the truth; that if the girl doesn't want anything to happen, then nothing would; and how can someone as good-looking as Daniel Smith rape someone like Nicole? Besides, "no one gets raped nowadays." I felt aghast! How can someone like that person say something like that? I had to control myself the moment I heard those words. So does that mean that if you're not good-looking, you just have to shut up and sulk in a corner after being raped by a handsome guy?

The thing here is, it's more than being "rape-worthy" (I apologize for the term). No one, NO ONE, should ever be rape-worthy, regardless of whether she looks like Angelina Jolie or Bakekang. And it doesn't also follow that only ugly men are rapists. You must be living under a rock on some forsaken island to believe that.

Plus, as truth would have it, men are physically stronger than women, so when the assailant punches the victim (or does anything that would physically hurt her), could the girl do anything else aside from passing out?

And WOMEN and CHILDREN STILL DO GET RAPED. Statistics even show that there are so many unreported cases of sexual assault these days. Even wives get raped by their husbands, hence the term "marital rape".

Also, let's not miss another important point here: No matter if a woman is earning her living by selling her body, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO RAPE HER. (Just to reiterate, "rape" means forcing someone to engage in sex. That means that even if you're a prostitute, and a customer forces himself on you WITHOUT your permission, THAT IS RAPE.)

Though I do understand the reason why some women are forced into prostitution, I do not vouch for it. Women are NOT sex slaves. But given the status quo, we still can't go on blaming those in this business when they get raped; it's not as if they feel so grateful for what they've been forced to do.

Forgive me for venting like this. It's just that such narrow-minded thinking irks me. Maybe it's partly my fault, thinking that at this day and age, people would be more clever–more intelligent and humane–to be gender-biased.

this is overdue

(This post is overdue by a week. Anyway, it's better late than never, right?)

So Francis did surprise me on our 8th Anniversary. The day before until the day itself, I was clueless as to where we're celebrating our big day. Though I did had this hunch that we're heading to Subic. And we did! It was fun, fun, fun! We had lunch at Gerry's Grill in Waterfront Drive...

I endured the heat for this shot!

After that...nah, let the photos speak...Teehee!

On our way to Zoobic, we chanced upon these families
of monkeys crossing the road.

Meet Nicole, the bear.

Allo!

Another ostrich shot of me

Si Puti!

Le tigre at the Tiger Safari (still in Zoobic)

They're such hungry crocs!

More photos here!

P.S.
Thanks a zillion, Pangga! You're da man! Heeheehee!

for Pete's sake

This is terrible news, indeed.

If Peter Jackson won't be directing The Hobbit, or any LOTR projects for that matter, then might as well dump any idea of putting this on the big screen. I can't imagine another director doing justice to Tolkien's work. It's inconceivable!

For my co-LOTR fans out there, please sign the petition here.

because this is our 8th and i'm more than happy

Tye-mela'ne, a’maelamin...

I wasn't a big fan of surprises, yet life holds millions of unexpected twists and turns.

I certainly didn't expect you.

But if life's surprises come falling down like the way you did, I sure don't mind getting one every single minute.

A blissful 8th anniversary, Pangga...You're another proof in my life that God does whip up miracles.

(26 November 2006)

ho-hum-dee-dee-dum

Today, as well as the past week, has been boring. Not that I'm complaining (because the last time I complained, I got what I wanted and it kinda sucked). Let's just say it's so hard to pass time doing nothing. Well, not exactly nothing – I surf the net while pretending to be busy. Again, I don't mean it as if it's a bad thing. Months of crunch time are now over, so I'm grateful for the peace and quiet I have now. Yehey!

---

I'm missing Ginger and Clapton again. Yesterday was a happy day as I didn't come to work due to that excruciating monthly pain. So sis and I lounged around the house and played with the pups. Of course, we took the opportunity to finish watching the first 12 episodes of Lost Season 2. We were planning on finishing the remaining episodes, but because work calls the following day (for me), we were forced to stop. Sad, sad.

---

Last Monday's KATHA Songwriters' Night was a bang. Conspiracy Bar was jampacked. And Noel Cabangon rocks!!! Can't wait for Dec. 11 (it's Christmas-themed. There'll be a big Christmas pageant, and I get to be a reindeer. Yes, I'm kidding, but it'd be swell if it were true! Haha!) Seriously, if you're interested, do drop by and be amazed at the many talents we have here on our shores. (This is shameless plugging.) I wish to upload the videos of our performance, but I don't think I should: Uploading would take up lots of bandwidth, which would spell ISD trouble for me; then, there's IPR.

---

Francis is posing a threat to my songwriting/poetry writing career. He's now composing his own lyrics (the new composition we performed recently at the KATHA event). And I must say his recent work is brilliant! So I must be prepared and more cautious. I should think of ways to outdo him.

So Francis, I know you're reading this, don't come to me for help with your syntax issues. Hahaha! Naah, I'm proud of him. Very much! Way to go! Here's to more word romancing! Teehee!

And because he's now into free verse, let me segue to this fantastic short letter/poem by e.e. cummings. He wrote this for his father when he was just, get a hold of this, SIX YEARS OLD!?!?!

FATHER DEAR. BE, YOUR FATHER-GOOD AND GOOD,
HE IS GOOD NOW, IT IS NOT GOOD TO SEE IT RAIN,
FATHER DEAR IS, IT, DEAR, NO FATHER DEAR,
LOVE, YOU DEAR,
ESTLIN.

Man, the guy must be such a nerd, and I'd give anything to have his brains and his pen. Hahah! But really, he's such a brilliant poet. Magnificent, awesome, genius! And did I say he's brilliant?

So I should work on my e.e. cummings creations now. --poof--

we got new babies and my sis is now an engineer!

Yep, yep! I got a new reason to want to go home early every day. We have two cute pups at home, loitering around and chasing each other and littering our terrace with their tiny droppings! Hahaha! I don't mind cleaning up after them, really. They're soooo adorable!

Nap time after playing and eating a lot!

Meet Clapton (the cream one) and Ginger (the chocolate brown pup). They're so hyperactive (especially Clapton) and I always get a kick whenever they would rush up to me and lick my feet! And when they're really hungry (they eat a lot), they'd jump at my feet as if begging for food. Teehee! So, so, so funny! I miss them already. And you won't believe how protective I can get. Whenever I hear one of them whimper, I'd rush to see if something's wrong. Like the other night, they each went a step down our terrace stairs and couldn't go back up, I had to carry them back to their "territory". And early this morning (as in 3:30am), I heard one of them crying out. I got alarmed by this crashing sound so I really bolted out of my bed, only to see Ginger trapped in this narrow space between my room and our terrace. It took the contortionist in me to get her out of there. I got so worried!

Yay, I could go on and on about these two babies of ours, but I'm afraid I might bore you readers to death. Hahah! Sorry, I just can't help it. It's been more than ten years since we last had a dog (now we have two soon-to-be doggies), and about two years since my beloved Netherland Dwarf rabbit, Gimli, passed away. I do hope to post lots of Clapton's and Ginger's photos in my flickr site soon.

By the way, thanks to my Pangga for suggesting such cool names inspired by the band, Cream – (Eric) Clapton and Ginger (Baker). Another dog and it'd be Bruce (Jack Bruce, that is). Oh yeah, and Ginger Baker (the human one) rocks!!!

Thanks also to my sis, Erma, for making the ultimate sacrifice – giving up her old pair of slippers just so the pups can have new toys to play with.

----

Congratulations to my sis, who's now a new Chemical Engineer!!! Thank the Lord for guiding her during those crucial (not to mention mind-bending) days of review and exam. And come next Monday, she'll be another JG Summiteer (she'll be working at Petrochem)! Now we can look forward to more gift certificates! Hahahaha! Can't wait for her first-pay treat! Harhar! (I'm so full of exclamations here! Yay!) (Oh no! No one would be left to look after Ginger and Clapton! Oh dear...)

there we go again

Another copycat....tsk, tsk, tsk...and it's so strange that Toni Gonzaga seems to always be in the picture (literally; please see previous entry on this). My, oh my!

and all went cold

Wahahahaha! Bliss, bliss, bliss. Our 3-day, 2-night stay in the City of Pines proved to be very, very rewarding. Man, I'm still in vacation mode right now. Thursday found me, Francis and his sis, Sugar, on the road to Baguio. A few hours from our destination, it rained. We were expecting it'll be colder because of the downpour, but to our surprise, the cold was bearable (compared to last February).

En route to paradise

Friday afternoon, Francis and I met with Mari-an, my "predecessor". Had a long, fun chat and a long list of itenerary, thanks to you, Mari-an dear. (And because of that list, we had a hard time deciding where to go! hahaha!)

Friday morning photo op at Milet's place (she's Francis' and Sugar's godsistah)

With Mari-an at SM Baguio

Dinner was at Vocas (located on the top floor of La Azotea Bldg. on Session Rd.). The place is fantastic! Lots of artworks that are really cool. Kudos to Kidlat Tahimik!

A sweeping shot of fabulous Vocas

Saturday morning was spent taking more photos in Maryknoll Sanctuary. It was a day communing with nature ang getting exhausted from quite a long walk. But because we're in Baguio, getting tired does not necessarily make your sweat glands work overtime. In fact, our sweat glands went on vacation, too!

Welcome me!

Maski ako malilito....hahaha!

Lunch found us at Little John's at Mile Hi Complex in Camp John Hay. Their tapa's yummmmmy! And their chocolate fondue is superb! It had us craving for more, more, more... A little after that, our small group headed off to Tam-awan Village. We failed to go there last Feb., and so we made sure to drop by and feel the mountain air. True enough, it's a quaint village that offers more artworks and more nature-tripping. Due to my insistence, and the intriguing fact that one can see South China Sea from this place, we went on a small hike. Though we weren't really able to locate the exact place where we can say hello to the sea, we had so much fun taking in the view and being shutter-happy. Want proof?

The brady bunch

When we got back to lower grounds, we were treated to a couple of Igorot performances. And whaddaya know, I was able to spot this cutie who looks like Matsumoto Jun (that cute guy in Gokusen). That makes him my official Baguio Boy Crush. Hahaha! Francis says he's got big teeth, but who cares! My mom says he's cute, too. Harhar!

Performance level!

This is a zoomed-in shot of BBC with his two front teeth.
And he's looking at my cam! Wahaha!

Come early evening, Francis and I went our own way and had dinner at 5o's Diner. Because we ordered the wrong food (we were soon to learn that the resto's specialty are pizzas and shakes), we tried to satisfy our hunger at Café By The Ruins. It wasn't a grand fare, really. Just two cups of hot choco and a plate of mango crepe. Mind you, we still can't get Little John's fondue off our head...and so we made a plan to have lunch there again before we say tah-tah to Baguio.

Froth, froth

We dreaded the next morning, simply because we're a few hours away from leaving that cold, cozy place. Still, we forced ourselves to wake up early just so we could do some last-minute shopping. And with the many plastic bags, we hurriedly made our way back to Little John's tapa and fondue. Terrific!

The gastronomic tapa...

...and the fantabulous fondue!

Then it was goodbye... Thank the Lord typhoon Paeng didn't find us there. We left at 1pm and was back in hot, chaotic Manila by around 7:30pm.

Long and winding and foggy road...

How I would love to spend many of my days in Baguio....

P.S.
Many thanks to Milet for the wonderful accommodation everytime we're up there!

Oh, and do drop by my flickr site for more photos (as of this moment, I'm still not done resizing the whole lot!) I'll also be uploading some more goofy ones in my multiply site. Heehee!

she will miss us, i'm sure

Taken during our EK shoot early this year

Been partners with Mems for about 6 months. And now she's moving on to greener pastures (of the cosmetic world!).

We'll definitely miss her and her food tripping and her vast knowledge of the 80s Pinoy stars and her infectious laughter.

We'll miss her. Period. (Just like missing Sonee. And Abby, who's now trotting England and being oh-so-Brit. Haha!)

To Memshhhh, nawa'y wala ka nang makitang kandila at kurtina sa Avon. Hahaha!

when the going gets tough, the tough goes to some place cold

My absence from the blogosphere this past few weeks only means one thing: work is raping me. This, therefore, calls for escapism. And there's no better place than Baguio – Baguio sans the tourists, so I can feel as if I really live there. So I can feel human again, and not a slave to the whims of clients.

Taken last February

Been craving for Baguio for quite a while now, and finally, the plan is slowly materializing. Baguio, Baguio, Baguio. Such a haven where I can unwind as if no deadlines exist. And of course, I can finally take Beren with me for photos galore (and my tripod, too!).

Man, I deserve this trip. Tickets na lang, lilipad na 'ko.

P.S.
It's exhilirating to hear Francis' composition (the song Did It Ever included in Gary V's latest album, Relevance) being played on air! We heard it on RT on the way home from a gig in Conspiracy last Monday night. Yeeehaaa! Go buy the album!!!

dead print society

I read in a friend's blog that Google recently came up with Book Search, which allows you to download the pdf file of a dead author's book....

I weep, for is this the signal of print's death? Let it not be...

the tale of the broken window

I got terribly scared out of my wits.

Last Sunday morning, at about 5 to 10 minutes before the clock struck 3am, I was awoken by the sound of paper being punched (yes, punched). Instinctively, I looked up the broken glass window above my bed only to see the newspaper I used to temporarily cover the hole removed, and a hand groping for the handlebar. I tried to think fast. Should I scream for help? I didn't, and just settled to pretend I'm having coughing fits, so loud it hurt my throat. That was enough to scare the man away. But I know I had to do something to really make sure he knows that someone busted his attempt at robbery (?). So after about 20 seconds of paralysis, I opened my lamp, went straight to my mom's room and told her what happened. She immediately looked for a better way to cover the gaping hole of my bedroom window (thanks to rascal kids for breaking it). Still terrified of what just took place, I hurriedly secured the large cardboard with lots of packaging tape. Then, my mom rushed to check if all doors in the house are closed. She also instructed me to keep my flourescent light on, never mind if I'm used to sleeping without lights. And because of that incident, I was forced to wake Francis up to tell him what happened. We talked for almost an hour, a good thing since I never wanted to go back to sleep after that disturbing incident. But of course, I had to let him sleep and myself, too. Thus, I resolved to change my sleeping position and face that window, just in case the creeper strikes again (I pray not!).

Come Sunday, we asked our ever-reliable carpenter to fix the window by placing this plank and securing the handlebars. So even if that means having a dark room (I admire the morning sunlight whenever it seeps through that window), I'm fine with the temporary fixture, just as long as I don't see anymore groping hands. And thank the Lord for making me a light sleeper. Otherwise, I would've woken up to see not only a hand.

And so these days, all of us in the house get all jumpy and paranoid whenever we hear a little thug on the roof or just a mere scratch at the gate. It's better to be jumpy than sorry.

just what type of girlfriend am i?

With almost 8 years of being together, there still are things that Francis don't know about me. He knows I can be weird sometimes (?), but the other day, he just learned how weird his girlfriend can really get...

Me: Ga, ang weird ko ba talaga?
Francis: Oo.
Me: Alam mo ba talaga how weird? Minsan kase pag feel ko gayahin yung dramahan sa pinapanood ko, ginagaya ko talaga. As in emote ako. Like the other day, nung nanonood ako ng ****, madrama na naman. So nag-internalize din ako tapos umiyak. So pano na yun pag mag-asawa na tayo, kakahiya makikita mo ko ng ganun?
Francis: Hahaha!
Me: Tapos minsan nang-gagaya din ako ng fight scenes.
Francis: Nire-reenact mo?
Me: Oo. As in sword fight scenes. Haha!
Francis: Okay lang yun. Kame rin namang mga lalake ganun, lalo na pag may magandang move sa basketball.
Me: Basketball yun. Hindi elves fighting Uruk-hais!
Francis: (with a disbelief look on his face).....hahahaha!

So if anyone of you reading this suddenly decides to stay away from me, I will understand. I'll just practice my swordfighting on you.

vanishing point

Tell-tale signs that I'm REALLY drowning in workloads and that I REALLY need to get away from it all ASAP...

1. My table is no longer a table but a pile of papers and magazines.
2. My computer desktop is as cluttered as my table.
3. I no longer sift through my mailbox to discard junk emails.
4. The 6-foot bulletin board that separates me from the rest of the world is cluttered, too, with project brief forms, printed e-mails, and other sheets of doodled paper. So cluttered you'd think it's a scary mural of white sheets.
4. I am besieged with the urge to just lie down, that my body seems to feel this sudden desire even if I'm aboard an FX. And I don't simply mean that I doze off on the way home. It's this weird bodily reaction I can't even explain.
5. Nasty colds get hold of me. I have sneezing fits that it embarasses me.
6. I have "now-you-see-it-now-you-don't" blog entries.
7. I make this list.

music as mag:net

It's uplifting to do something worthwhile even if it's once in a lifetime.

A couple of years back, when UP Music Circle was just starting out, we were given the chance to sing at an event for cancer-stricken kids at Cravings, Katipunan. Which now makes me wonder how those kids are -- are they still struggling with the disease or are some of them already "home"?

And last July 29, the org celebrated it's 8th anniversary with a cause. It has been a night of good music, reunions, and purpose. Our band (Ice Cream Assassins, the alumni RockEd was pertaining to) had a great, great time!

Makes me real proud of UP Music Circle. To music and beyond!

P.S.

Thanks to Arbie for sharing the link above. And to RockEd, too, for recognizing the org's efforts.

what is so difficult with being original?

I am greatly disturbed. This is strangely alarming...


Why is it so hard for us to come up with original concepts? WHY, WHY, WHY???

another reason to get lost

First, it was Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway and Ian Somerhalder....


...then, Rodrigo Santoro comes along.


Can I just hyperventilate now?

jampacked

Duurgh.....This week is going to be a veeery looong week for moi. Got three consecutive shoots lined up and Francis is in Puerto Galera for a field work. He'll be back this Friday, but that seems so far away...Sucks.

Being this busy (and lonely....yaaaah! cheesy me!) makes me want to escape to Baguio all the more. Well, I have to finish stuff first before I head up there. And Francis has to be back from his out-of-town assignment.

As if I'm being taunted/haunted by that charming place, my former officemate Mari-an, who's presently Baguio-based, dropped by today for a visit. Baguio, oh Baguio. What did you do to me?

Hay, hay. I'll shut up now. Can't think of anything to write. Kapoof.

return of the freak

"Home is behind, the world ahead,

And there are many paths to tread,

Thru shadow to the edge of night,

Until the stars are all alight,

Mist and shadows, clouds and shade

All shall fade, all shall fade."

-- Sung by Pippin in Return of the King

The long weekend found me sleeping, watching TV, doing some writing jobs, worrying about Francis (but he's back on his feet now, thank God!), and....*drum rolls* watching (again) Return of the King. Woooohoooo!

I've long wanted to re-watch at least one of the three LOTR installments, and I never found time (shame on me) until yesterday. Since sis and mom went on a shopping spree at 168, the TV was all mine to hoard.

I never get tired of watching PJ's widescreen adaptation of Tolkien's epic. And even until now, my fave scenes in ROTK never fail to give me goosebumps and yes, tears: Arwen's vision of her son with Aragorn, the lighting of the beacons of Gondor, Gandalf and Pippin riding to help Gondor's men against the menacing Nazguls, Pippin singing for Denethor while Faramir's army are heading for a suicidal attempt in reclaiming Osgiliath, the sounding of the battle horn of the Rohirrim upon their arrival at Pelennor Fields, the Pelennor Fields battle, Eowyn slaying the Witch-king of Angmar...I could go on and on and never get tired.

Sometimes, I laugh at myself whenever I catch me mouthing the dialogues! I know I'm getting kind of scary here, but I really love the feeling of being so perpetually engrossed in something as awesome as this epic.

Now I just have to make time for the FOTR and TTT. Mwahahaha!

Oh, and does anyone know where I can buy the extended version of ROTK? I already have the extended ones for the first two parts. For anyone who could point me to where I can find one, Hantalye!

the day rage almost ate me up

There are moments when you just want to break down and throw pillows at the wall just to express rage. But there are also moments when, at the height of that anger, God uses His word to soothe the raging storm in you.

That’s what Psalm 27 did to me. During that day when I was so bursting with hatred brought upon by a very problematic project and aggravated by another incident that happened that night I went home from work (it involves this ruthless jeepney driver who intentionally hit on the breaks and almost inflicted serious injuries on this unsuspecting girl), it’s very humbling to know that He knows every bit of rage I was feeling that time. Upon opening ODB to that night’s devotion, I knew He’s unravelling some answers for me. The devotion’s title? Facing Your Enemies. To say it has been timely is an understatement. It’s a miracle, if I may say. And at that very moment, I was again reminded to take my raging feeling to Him and let Him do the rest. Because really, hatred is a two-edged sword, and hate is a feeling I dislike very much. So I took everything to God in prayer and soon enough, I was sleeping like I’ve had the best day of my life.

Vindication came the following day (let me not talk about how it exactly came to me). What can I say…”If you are facing enemies, God will use His Word to help you.” Indeed.

P.S.

Please pray for Francis’ fast recovery – he’s been having recurring fever the past few days and we’re suspecting dengue. He’s had his blood tested this afternoon and the doctors said there’s nothing alarming to really conclude it’s dengue (thank the Lord!). He’s in for another blood test tomorrow just to be sure. I just hope and pray it’s just a simple case of flu…

elements of weightlessness

90/60, 78, 94. Only the last of these numbers is normal--and that would be my blood sugar. All the rest, my BP and *gulps* weight go below the normal scale. I'm THAT frail!?!?! And that's all the blood that remains in my frail body? Am I still human????

This means, I better work double time in gaining weight and I really, really have to sleep earlier than 12mn. Lest, I become a living dead.

***

There really are some people who, in order to please others, would make living a hell. Well, not really living but working. They don't care if what the client wants is illogical, much more wrong grammar, for as long as they follow what they want.

It's just sad that the quality of work suffers simply because some people like to kiss arse. It's as if they worship clients and are programmed to follow whatever they want, never mind if the subject and the verb don't agree (for instance). What's even sadder is that since you don't want to be associated with such erroneous work, you just force yourself to shut up and not brag about that particular piece of work that you slaved for, not wanting to risk your reputation as an artist or a writer.

What boggles me more is, why do (forgive the term) ass-kissing people like these make a challenging job one heck of a difficult one for me and my team? Why do they have to act like programmed machines churning out faulty revisions from their clients? Why do they have to cause my disillusionment?

It's very, very sad. Depressing even, to think you can do your best without other people boxing you in, only to find out that wouldn't really happen. And to think it's just a simple case of correct grammar or appealing layout.

Darn it. Is this the price you pay just so other inconsiderate people get more commission?

all in a day's work

Last night, after feasting on our fave meal at Chef d'Angelo, Francis and I were relieved to get out of the rain and onto a Cubao-bound bus--our usual route from Ortigas. Of course, the driver took his time and waited for more passengers to fill in every nook and cranny of the bus. But just when it was about to cross Ortigas Avenue, this guy from the very backseat (where we're seated), who doesn't look any sober, suddenly pleaded everyone to spare him some money for his fare; that he's doing an OJT sans allowance; and that he just badly needs money to go home. Rarely do we encounter things like that, so I got quite alarmed. I nudged Francis and told him we oughtta step out of the bus because I'm feeling "that feeling". But we remained seated. Five minutes have passed. Then the guy pleaded again, this time with an impatient tone. No one dared to give him what he wanted. I'm beginning to feel really uneasy because things like that could get out of hand. Just when we were about to get out of the scene, the now impatient guy made his way to the aisle, promptly introduced himself, and continued lamenting that he really, really need some money so please, please, please. Apparently, the guy's out of his mind. Why in the world would you have to introduce yourself and give a short educational background if you're just begging for money? It would've been sincere if he wasn't acting that weird.

At that moment, I had this urge to just run the guy down and flee from whatever bad is about to happen. I've been in a scary situation like this years ago, and it cost me my mobile phone and a bit of sanity, so you can just imagine how distressed I was. The moment the man went back to his seat, Francis and I hurriedly made our way to the door, paid our fare, and stepped out into the drizzle and onto EDSA (very near the Santolan MRT station, to be precise). We felt a big relief. Like I wanted to scream with relief. Never mind if we had to stand there for almost half an hour just to get another ride, and never mind if we wasted 20 bucks for not even 2 miles of travel. As long as we're far away from that scary guy, who I believe would do something stupid if nobody really gives him what he wanted. What if he's a holdupper? I never, EVER, want to encounter such ruthless beings again IN MY LIFE. NEEEEEEVEEEER!!! Thank God, indeed, that we were able to get out of such a terrifying situation.

***

Now on to happy things. I think I'm presently on the verge of getting addicted to another Korean-novela series. I'm not really a huge fan of Asian series shown here on our shores. It's just that I choose what show I let myself get hooked in and after Full House, this show (Love Story in Harvard, which had its pilot last night) is probably the next...

...which means that, I have something to look forward to every night. But with the semi-unpredictable schedule I have at work, I have another reason to hate doing overtime work...like now. Humbug!

i'm a little scary. cool!

You Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

How Scary Are You?

Haha! Now that's a different news. But it's nice to know I got a nice edge. The thing is, with some inefficient people pestering me at work, and they actually spoil my day, I don't think I'm willing to use that nice edge of mine.

I prefer that they see me as scary. REALLY scary. Rawr.

P.S.
Thanks to my sis. I stumbled upon this link in her very outdated site.

P.S.S
I think my home page is finally blocked here at the office forever. Makes me want to puke now.

the wonderful world of YM

Ahahaha! This is so amazing! Finally, after months and months of being YM-less, I have now downloaded and installed Yahoo Messenger here in our PC at home! Yahooo!

This sounds a bit shallow, I know, but for someone who has already built friendships online, this is a feat. My passionate affair with chatting hit in late. When everyone has probably gotten over chatting, I was only beginning to fall in love with it. My former officemates are to blame. If not for them, I would still be clueless.

YM kept me sane during those bumming around days, when I was waiting for precious calls from would-be employers. And so I have to thank it, even if sometime in the past, it gave me a hard time simply downloading/installing it--to the extent of reformatting the PC just so it'd work. So you can just imagine how thrilled I was when, after waiting for about an hour for the download to finish, YM has been successfully installed! Hurrah!

This is a very great compensation for not being able to chat properly at work *snickers*. Now I have another reason to look forward to weekends! Haha!

There. Raving over. I better go to bed in a while, right after I've created my new avatar. Heehee!

of guitars and memories

I am presently rediscovering my long-forgotten passion (if I could call it passion in the first place) – playing the guitar. Due to Francis’ insistence that I re-learn how to play it and not just be forever stuck on chords A, C, D, G, E and Em, at the same time persuading me that it’ll be very useful for the band, I gave in. So last weekend, we headed to Sta. Mesa to score some cheap guitar as my first step to being the female Joe Satriani.

It’s funny to look back at how I first came to establish romance with all those frets and strings: it was in high school, where, it seems, knowing how to strum simple tunes was the “in” thing. Then came college and I met wonderful guitar players (count Francis in) in UP Music Circle. And so the passion died and I just concentrated on playing with vocal chords. But now the prospect of being able to play an instrument aside from singing on stage seems a lot appealing. Hence, I am on the road to being a guitar master. Hardeeharhar.

*****

There are certain songs that remind us of certain moments, be they good or bad. In my case, it’s not just one or two songs, but a whole album – The Corrs’ Home. (I’ve always been a fan of the Irish group, though I must admit I only have two of their albums. Nevertheless, I’m still a fan.) And as I am currently listening to it now, the group’s spectacular Irish tunes never fail to bring me back to beloved Baguio.

A few months ago, as the bus trekked the long and winding road to that enchanting place, I immersed myself to Home to keep myself from being bored of the six-hour trip. Thanks to Francis for giving me that album as a Valentine gift. So now, since I’ve been longing to go back, I just comfort myself with memories evoked by Andrea’s vocals and tin whistle, Sharon’s violin, Caroline’s bodhran, and Jim’s guitar and keyboards.

On the other hand, my mom tells me she’s reminded of Nanay, who once said it’s like listening to Muslim music. I found it silly then. But now that she’s no longer with us, I find it endearing.

That’s probably one of the many good things about music: it makes us remember good things even if they’re just memories….

mad love

I am welcoming myself to yet another weblog, though I must admit that I'm still hesitant if I should maintain this site, hence spreading more of my loony world.

And let me just say that this is not a completely voluntary act. I'm actually forced to put up another crazy site simply because here at work, I have limited access to my home site (which I can only access during lunch). And I'm too lazy to face the computer when I'm at home. Plus of course, Internet access at the office is free AND fast.

Why the heck am I explaining myself?

Oh well. Another site to explore and tinker with. Erp.

P.S.
I hope SysAd doesn't block this site, too. Or I'm REALLY doomed.