going back to that happy place where we grieved

It was Sunday, 4 o’clock in the morning, and my husband and I were already awake. We had barely two hours of sleep after an evening—make that a day—of celebrating perhaps the most momentous day of our lives: our wedding.

Our flight to Bohol, where we were bound for our 4-day, 3-night honeymoon, would leave at 8am. Not wanting to be late or start our honeymoon with frazzled nerves from rushing to the airport, we arrived at the NAIA Terminal 2 at 6:15.

Because we availed of seats promo (ours was PAL’s Econolight), we didn’t have the luxury to choose our seats; consequently, we risked being seated apart. But perhaps it was because we were on our honeymoon, and we were probably that obvious that we were honeymooning (no, there was no smooching or any grave PDA), the check-in counter personnel had a big heart to fix our seats.

Hubby enjoying a cup of hot choco

With more than an hour to spare, we slumped onto Delifrance’s wicker chairs and took our time enjoying our breakfast. About 20 minutes before our scheduled flight, an announcement said that ours would be a little delayed. However, to our delight, barely 10 minutes passed when passengers bound to Tagbilaran were instructed to form one line in front of the loading entrance.

The white watch on my left arm said 8:10am. We were off to lovely Bohol, expecting to land on its humble airport before half-past 9.

***

A yummy concoction of orange juice

At two in the afternoon, we were still in bed trying to catch as much needed sleep as we can. Yes, we were aware that we just wasted half of the first day of our honeymoon not honeymooning but snoozing. We didn’t mind, really. Six months of happy stress finally took its toll on our bodies that we had to find a way to at least recharge for a few hours.

Still groggy and squinting from the early afternoon sun’s glare, we made our way to Amorita Resort’s restaurant pride, Saffron. Their website did not lie. The restaurant is indeed a perfect place to fulfill one’s gastronomic cravings while giving one’s senses the treat they deserve.

Fronting the open resto is the idyllic infinity pool. A dip or some laps really does rejuvenate the body, what with a breath-taking view of the Panglao beach just in front of your eyes—pristine, clear blue-green waters very slowly rushing to meet the powdery shore. The high tide in the morning makes for a refreshing, cool dip; while the afternoon’s low tide calls for guests to wade in the semi-exposed shoreline. And that was just what we did after our late lunch.

Taking in the late afternoon heat, my husband and I strolled along the beach, unmindful of the many Europeans who were basking on their mats, hoping to get the tan they so covet. Surprisingly, that time of the year, there wasn’t much Asian guests in Panglao, mostly Caucasians, a handful of Koreans and few of our kababayans. When I was last in Bohol, Koreans were everywhere.

***

Dinner was served a bit late than we expected. We didn’t really mind. Amorita’s staff have been very polite and accommodating from the first hour we arrived, so it was somehow snobbish to complain. Edward, one of Saffron’s attendants, was kind enough to talk us up while we were waiting for our free dinner (the package we availed includes one). Unfortunately for Francis, he was served the same food he ordered for lunch—mahi-mahi fillet with almond. His consolation? Turones de Bohol for dessert. I had to agree with him—it was de-li-cious!

***

At about 11:30 in the evening, my phone registered a missed call from my sister-in-law, Sugar. I didn’t have time to call her back when my phone rang again. On the other line was Sugar, her words I could barely make out. All I understood was that she wanted to speak to her kuya. Right then and there, I understood what was happening, what had happened.

Mommy Susie had passed away. After almost two years of battling with breast cancer, which eventually metastasized to her bones and brain, her body became too weak to fight some more. For us, the timing of her demise was touching. It was as if she just waited for her beloved son and I to get married. In fact, after the previous day’s reception, we headed straight to Novaliches to visit her and say hello, and of course, to show her that we have finally tied the knot. It was sad enough not to see her with us on our precious day, but we’d rather that she stay in bed to rest. That night was my first time to see her so weak. A week ago, she was still able to utter comprehensible words. That night, she can barely whisper. But we were all happy, including Daddy Edwin who begged off from attending our wedding so he can be by his wife’s side in case of emergency. We didn’t really realize that it was already her last day. But yes, if we were to believe (and we did) that she just waited for us to get married and be done with that day’s festivities, then we are definitely grateful to her. We know Mommy Susie tried so hard to fend off that dark cloud, perhaps pleading to give her a few more hours until after her son and her daughter-in-law walked down the aisle, before she succumbed.

Francis and I thought of cutting our honeymoon short. We even thought of canceling the next day’s dolphin watching trip to give us more time to grieve, but we were told that that would incur us a 50 to 100 percent cancellation fee. So we just decided to go through with it.

***

Kuya Gilbert says "hello"

Kuya Cris on the lookout for dolphins

Kuya Cris and Kuya Gilbert made sure we had our electronic gadgets locked safely in a small, yellow Pelican brief case provided by Bohol Aquatic Adventures, Amorita’s own dive shop. The sun had barely said good morning to that side of the planet as we waded our way to the small rigger boat that would then bring us to a bigger banca. It was a glorious morning, yet we let last night’s news dampen our spirits. We felt it wasn’t right to feel so giddy and absolutely happy when back in Manila, the funeral for Mommy Susie was being arranged. Still, it was a glorious morning; and despite not spotting any dolphins (all bancas who set sail to dolphin watch were unfortunate not to see any), the two hours at sea had been a refreshing break for us newly married.

Filipino food + cereals = perfect morning

We got back to the resort in time for our buffet breakfast. Aside from the dolphin watching included in the honeymoon package we availed of, as well as the sunset cruise scheduled late in the afternoon of the same day, we were also happy to have a daily buffet breakfast. In between mouthfuls of rice, Francis got busy with calls to and from Sugar, fixing whatever needs to be fixed for the funeral.

***

The sunset cruise boys

At 5:30 pm, just before the sun set low in the horizon, we were off to the same rigger boat that took us dolphin watching that morning. It was still Kuya Cris who accompanied us, together with Alfred, our “personal butler” who brought along a free bottle of white wine, two flute glasses and a bucket of ice, and the boats “driver” (unfortunately, we failed to commit his name to memory). About 150 feet or so from the shoreline, our kuya boatman killed the boat’s engine as Alfred politely poured some sparkling wine into our glasses. I’m not really a fan of alcoholic drinks, nor is Francis, but a refreshing glass of wine was a warm welcome to us. We silently watched the sky break into many different colors that kept on changing every few minutes. That was also the moment we let each other know how we’ll miss Mommy Susie. We know she’s already in a safer and painless place, yet I can’t help but feel cheated—I was so looking forward to having her as my mother-in-law, now made official. My mom, whom she considers her best friend ever since we formally introduced the two of them, felt the same. My mother had been so excited when Mommy Susie finally retired from working, because they had an agreement that they’d travel together. I bet my mom felt the same way we did when I broke the sad news to her. And it was in those times when I heard my own mom utter words of shock that I wish it were all a bad dream.

***

A few weeks back, I told a colleague friend how I felt about all that was happening just before Francis and I got married. I was surprised at my own honesty, but I was confident that since the person I was talking to is also about to get married, I instinctively knew she’d understand how I was feeling at that time. I remember telling her over late lunch how I was so afraid—afraid of what might happen to my mom-in-law. It was just a matter of time before Mommy Susie’s body gives up. The doctors already stated that fact—that we be prepared for the worst. Radiotherapy’s goal is to just extend a cancer patient’s life, not save her. I was so afraid, I told my colleague, that I’d have to see my husband be torn with happiness and grief—regardless of whether that would happen before or after we got married. It was somehow selfish of me to be afraid, to not want to see him suffer. Moreso, I felt guilty for feeling so weak during the time when Francis needed me to be strong for him. All that was left was to pray and hope for a miracle.

Yet even if that miracle didn’t happen, Mommy Susie’s demise gave us something we never expected. The bond between me and Francis got stronger, and so has the bond between him and his sister.

***

The whole of Tuesday was spent traveling around Bohol, uncovering its many historical and natural wonders. Since we didn’t avail of the package that includes such trip, we just rented an Altis to get us around the province. Good thing it was the same car and driver that had fetched us from the airport when we arrived two days ago. Though our driver, Sherwin, is not the type who’s generous with words, he had been kind enough to let us into a handful of tidbits about the places we visited.

At the Chocolate Hills viewing deck. Not so sunny that day

Which is the tarsier? Be my guest to guess. Haha!

The Blood Compact site was the first stop; next was the Baclayon museum and church, the second oldest church in the country. Then it was off to the magnificent Chocolate Hills. The dull weather didn’t allow for postcard-perfect pictures with the well-formed hills as background, but seeing that natural wonder (first time for Francis and second for me) still never failed to make the 30-minute stopover unforgettable.

Our cruise faring Loboc River

Lunch at the Loboc River aboard a cruise was next on the itinerary. For only 300 pesos per head, we got to have a buffet Pinoy lunch and a one-hour ride on Loboc River. Our cruise was composed of a fair mixture of Pinoy and Korean tourists, with two or three Caucasians who also shared in the fun.

Entertainment care of the locals

The more entertaining part was the 15-minute stopover on the way back to the dock, when us tourists got to mingle with the locals to enjoy their music and dance. With a rondalla ensemble, the locals entertained us with their rendition of OPM songs as well as tunes in the vernacular. There was also a tinikling showdown, where tourists tried their luck in the folkdance while hopping in between two hitting bamboo poles. We then had a short side trip to one of two certified tarsier "houses". Those small primates never fail to let the giggle out of me.

After the cruise, Sherwin proudly drove us to where Prony is housed. Prony is arguably the largest python in captivity. Just how big is it? Together with some fast facts tacked on a bulletin board greeting visitors is a picture of the huge python taken a few years back, happily feeding on a whole piglet. Yes, a whole piglet!

Of course, an out-of-town trip is never complete without a jaunt to the nearest pasalubong haven, so it was off to pasalubong hoarding after we said goodbye to Prony.

After about two hours of spending money, it was back to the resort.

We capped off the night with what's left of the white wine from the sunset cruise. We decided to linger a little while near the infinity pool, beside a tree well-lit by yellow lights. It was a relatively quiet evening spent with us being silent, with just the canopy of tiny lights above our heads.

***

Our last day at Amorita started with another heartwarming eat-all-you-can breakfast. We then rested for a while before heading off to the beach to take a swim (or a dip, if it’s more fitting). The water was cool, and the sand so divinely fine it can give Boracay a run for its revenue. No kidding.

The spectacular sea view from Amorita

Once we got tired of the beach, it was time to take a dip into the infinity pool. We first had our romance with Amorita’s popular pool on our first day, and that was late in the afternoon. The view was spectacular. But this time around, with the sun almost at its zenith, the view changed—it was more spectacular, as if we were seeing the beach for the first time or from different pairs of eyes. The sunny sky, with a scattering of fluffy cotton clouds, provided a perfect backdrop for the two-toned sea. It’s as if we were in a little pocket of the Caribbean. Glorious. Magnificent. Perfect.

***

The good thing about Panglao beach is that guests are not tied down to eating meals exclusively at the resort they’re booked in. Wanting to taste a variety of foods, not to mention being practical (some dishes at the Saffron Resto are pricey for their taste), we again scouted the many other resorts lined up at the beach front for a good last lunch.

After a serving of sizzling squid, a platter of sweet and sour prawns, and two glasses of chocolate shake, Francis and I headed back to our resort. Realizing I had no souvenir buy for myself, I immediately grabbed a pretty woven bag big enough to carry the rest of our pasalubongs. It’s also a nice native bag for overnight trips.

***

For the past three days of our stay, the sea was calm; but during our last day, Nature decided to change her mind and made the sea throw waves at the shoreline. On our way back to Amorita, we heard the locals remark on how turbulent the waters were that day. We can only assume that it was something unusual for the usually calm sea. Somehow, it was a relief that the sea decided to become unfriendly during our last day.

On the ride to Tagbilaran airport, I silently reflected on how refreshing and blessed our honeymoon was, despite knowing a loved one just passed away. At the same time, I realized that maybe, just maybe, the whole trip had been a happy one because Mommy Susie wanted us to be just that—happy.

And we know that she is, too.