Sometimes, I really do make things complicated for myself.
Perfect example would be what transpired today: let's just say I got a good career break--something I should be very happy and gleeful about. I mean, I am happy about it and I sincerely thank God for it; it's just that I know I should feel a higher degree of happiness. Any normal person would, so I guess this lack of exuberant emotion makes me a retard. What's worse--I can't label what I feel. It's not being ungrateful but more like, I dunno, can I say oblivious/indifferent? I'm really trying my best here to feel the appropriate emotions. Trying really hard...And I hate myself for having to try when I shouldn't even be trying but just feeling!
What the heck is wrong with me?
Somebody help figure me out. Please!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
my first attempt at domestication
The idea suddenly sprang in my head during one of those days when I was stuck at home nursing my asthma (so this must be a sick idea. Haha!): I've decided to cook for Francis. I've decided to cook. Period.
Not that this was my first attempt. I already whipped up some mediocre meal for him years back, with my lola's help. This time, I've decided to be on my own. The menu: Chicken in creamy mushroom sauce.
So yesterday afternoon, I was at the supermarket (yes, I now appreciate having a mall in the neighborhood) shopping for my ingredients. During the grocery trip, I had this brilliant idea to not only cook the main course but prepare some appetizer (potato salad with a dash of thyme) and dessert (milky melon and banana), too. A full-course meal. So ambitious of me, eh?
There I was at the refrigerated section of the supermarket, clueless as to how shitake mushrooms look like fresh. Button mushrooms are easy (especially the canned ones), but my recipe calls for the former. When I saw these shrooms peeking out from the shelf, I made sure to look at the label to avoid picking out the wrong kind. And when my hands finally landed on shitakes, I thought to myself, "Ano ba 'tong pinasok ko?" (What have I gotten myself into?). I mean, how do I go about cooking them, much more slicing them first? It's a pretty easy dilemma, I know; but for someone like me who's never a regular at the kitchen, such trivial questions could very well equate to calculus.
But to be honest about it, I felt excited and giddy, albeit nervous. So when I got home, there's no other way to see if I'm making a big mistake but to try and make some sample.
After about an hour of kitchen heat, I managed to survive the ordeal. I think what I've prepared are decent enough not to rush someone to the nearest hospital due to food poisoning. My sister even finished her share as a sign of approval. I felt somewhat relieved and proud at the same time. I only had to wait for the next day for the verdict.
---
Dinner was served with anticipation. So anxious was I that I almost forgot to prepare my own plate and would have opted for Francis to try his first and wait for his reaction. After sitting down, Francis took his first spoonful. I held my breath. "Wow, sarap!" was my fiance's first reaction. I had to make sure he was telling me the truth and not just acting as my (polite) fiance. Seriously, he better be honest because he'll probably end up eating whatever I would serve him the moment we're married. There is no turning back for him, right? So I took his compliment as the truth after seeing him ask for another serving. He not only loved the main course, he also had three servings of my potato salad and two servings of my dessert! Wahahaha! It was a success! I can't believe it!
The only downside: since I don't know any better when it comes to approximating how many/much of each ingredient I'm supposed to buy, I ended up having an extra can of cream of chicken, 5 more pieces of shitake mushrooms and a handful of basil leaves. I guess I'd have to prepare some chicken soup soon before those ingredients expire.
So there, first attempt at domesticating myself has been a success. I just hate the now-wash-the-dishes part. And I wish I was able to take a couple of pictures of my masterpiece as proof. Never mind, there will be a next time. Heehee!
P.S.
Thanks to Mems for letting me bug her about shitake mushrooms and basil leaves.
Not that this was my first attempt. I already whipped up some mediocre meal for him years back, with my lola's help. This time, I've decided to be on my own. The menu: Chicken in creamy mushroom sauce.
So yesterday afternoon, I was at the supermarket (yes, I now appreciate having a mall in the neighborhood) shopping for my ingredients. During the grocery trip, I had this brilliant idea to not only cook the main course but prepare some appetizer (potato salad with a dash of thyme) and dessert (milky melon and banana), too. A full-course meal. So ambitious of me, eh?
There I was at the refrigerated section of the supermarket, clueless as to how shitake mushrooms look like fresh. Button mushrooms are easy (especially the canned ones), but my recipe calls for the former. When I saw these shrooms peeking out from the shelf, I made sure to look at the label to avoid picking out the wrong kind. And when my hands finally landed on shitakes, I thought to myself, "Ano ba 'tong pinasok ko?" (What have I gotten myself into?). I mean, how do I go about cooking them, much more slicing them first? It's a pretty easy dilemma, I know; but for someone like me who's never a regular at the kitchen, such trivial questions could very well equate to calculus.
But to be honest about it, I felt excited and giddy, albeit nervous. So when I got home, there's no other way to see if I'm making a big mistake but to try and make some sample.
After about an hour of kitchen heat, I managed to survive the ordeal. I think what I've prepared are decent enough not to rush someone to the nearest hospital due to food poisoning. My sister even finished her share as a sign of approval. I felt somewhat relieved and proud at the same time. I only had to wait for the next day for the verdict.
---
Dinner was served with anticipation. So anxious was I that I almost forgot to prepare my own plate and would have opted for Francis to try his first and wait for his reaction. After sitting down, Francis took his first spoonful. I held my breath. "Wow, sarap!" was my fiance's first reaction. I had to make sure he was telling me the truth and not just acting as my (polite) fiance. Seriously, he better be honest because he'll probably end up eating whatever I would serve him the moment we're married. There is no turning back for him, right? So I took his compliment as the truth after seeing him ask for another serving. He not only loved the main course, he also had three servings of my potato salad and two servings of my dessert! Wahahaha! It was a success! I can't believe it!
The only downside: since I don't know any better when it comes to approximating how many/much of each ingredient I'm supposed to buy, I ended up having an extra can of cream of chicken, 5 more pieces of shitake mushrooms and a handful of basil leaves. I guess I'd have to prepare some chicken soup soon before those ingredients expire.
So there, first attempt at domesticating myself has been a success. I just hate the now-wash-the-dishes part. And I wish I was able to take a couple of pictures of my masterpiece as proof. Never mind, there will be a next time. Heehee!
P.S.
Thanks to Mems for letting me bug her about shitake mushrooms and basil leaves.
Monday, August 04, 2008
tagged, and you may be tagged, too
Was tagged by Jay, my gay lover. I even got scolded for not attending to this meme right away. He can be so demanding. Ahaha!
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who tagged them & cannot tag the person who tagged them. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
1. How has Multiply/Blogger changed your life?
I now have the whole www to talk to when I'm bored, or just plain in the mood for "talking". I can be über mushy, angsty or simply senseless and I don't even care because hey, it's my blog!
2. What do you do before bedtime?
Cleanse my face with an astringent, surf the net, yak on the phone with Francis, and have my quiet time.
I've no idea yet. Maybe the same menu as my baon for lunch: sweetened ribs (my mom's specialty).
With Francis, either up in the cold mountains (the Alps? That place where Heidi and her grandpa live in the book, Heidi [by Johanna Spyri]) or a serene but very scenic beach like a remote resort in Hawaii or the Caribbean.
I'd like to believe I'm an extrovert. But I confuse myself because I can also be an introvert sometimes. Case to case basis.
Read books, listen to music, watch DVDs, sleep. And when I'm visited by the muse, I try to write.
Before, yes. Now, I test the waters first. (But I easily get attached.)
My mobile phone--inside my big bag that has other things, which make for aching shoulders at the end of the day.
Yes. Quite a handful. "Unhappy" is such an understatement. I just try to not wallow in it. For one, there's Francis being assigned in Cavite for five friggin' months. And then...
I can say that I easily get along well with people, and that I have a sense of humor, albeit shallow. Haha!
Yes, it is. Especially when I don't have anything to blog about. Tagging can be a legit reason to blog away.
I make my own life complex in one way or another. So yes, complicated and a contradiction of sorts.
I love it when it drizzles. But I also want to experience snow, given that I don't get frostbites or die of hypothermia.
Jay is handsomely gay, darn it!
Poor but loved. But it doesn't hurt to be rich and loved at the same time, does it?
Two--a boy and a girl. Right, Francis?
Last Friday, there was an ex-deal sale at work. So I grabbed a perfume for my mom, which she's been wanting since she got a whiff of it. So I bought it for her. I was all excited to go home that day and hand her that dandy bottle. So yeah, it is better to give than to receive. Makes me feel all fuzzy inside.
That's just plain lust. I prefer to call the act "making love" than just "sex". The latter term has this detached rawness to it, which I don't find appealing.
Uhm. No. But if that's with my husband, then I'm all for it. Hahaha!
I prefer it ancient-sounding and uncommon. Say, Onesimus or Moses. Hehe.
You're tagged: Camille, Sam (ayan!), Abby, Kat, Archie, Cos, Mavs, Pat
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who tagged them & cannot tag the person who tagged them. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
1. How has Multiply/Blogger changed your life?
I now have the whole www to talk to when I'm bored, or just plain in the mood for "talking". I can be über mushy, angsty or simply senseless and I don't even care because hey, it's my blog!
2. What do you do before bedtime?
Cleanse my face with an astringent, surf the net, yak on the phone with Francis, and have my quiet time.
I've no idea yet. Maybe the same menu as my baon for lunch: sweetened ribs (my mom's specialty).
With Francis, either up in the cold mountains (the Alps? That place where Heidi and her grandpa live in the book, Heidi [by Johanna Spyri]) or a serene but very scenic beach like a remote resort in Hawaii or the Caribbean.
I'd like to believe I'm an extrovert. But I confuse myself because I can also be an introvert sometimes. Case to case basis.
Read books, listen to music, watch DVDs, sleep. And when I'm visited by the muse, I try to write.
Before, yes. Now, I test the waters first. (But I easily get attached.)
My mobile phone--inside my big bag that has other things, which make for aching shoulders at the end of the day.
Yes. Quite a handful. "Unhappy" is such an understatement. I just try to not wallow in it. For one, there's Francis being assigned in Cavite for five friggin' months. And then...
I can say that I easily get along well with people, and that I have a sense of humor, albeit shallow. Haha!
Yes, it is. Especially when I don't have anything to blog about. Tagging can be a legit reason to blog away.
I make my own life complex in one way or another. So yes, complicated and a contradiction of sorts.
I love it when it drizzles. But I also want to experience snow, given that I don't get frostbites or die of hypothermia.
Jay is handsomely gay, darn it!
Poor but loved. But it doesn't hurt to be rich and loved at the same time, does it?
Two--a boy and a girl. Right, Francis?
Last Friday, there was an ex-deal sale at work. So I grabbed a perfume for my mom, which she's been wanting since she got a whiff of it. So I bought it for her. I was all excited to go home that day and hand her that dandy bottle. So yeah, it is better to give than to receive. Makes me feel all fuzzy inside.
That's just plain lust. I prefer to call the act "making love" than just "sex". The latter term has this detached rawness to it, which I don't find appealing.
Uhm. No. But if that's with my husband, then I'm all for it. Hahaha!
I prefer it ancient-sounding and uncommon. Say, Onesimus or Moses. Hehe.
You're tagged: Camille, Sam (ayan!), Abby, Kat, Archie, Cos, Mavs, Pat
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