Thursday, September 11, 2008

speculating on changes that are spankin' good

I've hardly been receptive to changes, especially the sudden ones. Like when Francis would suddenly decide to just meet some place else when I'm already headed to the original meeting place, or when there's an impromptu client meeting that wasn't listed down in my planner. Such ruin my day, albeit varying in degree.

Getting married is definitely one of these changes--a big one--yet I do not find myself disliking it a bit. In fact, I feel a sense of peace and solitude when I think of the many other big changes that would come crashing down on my lap after we walk down the aisle. I find it amazing to actually be looking forward to something like this--something that would force my life to make a 180-degree turn. The mere possibility of changing careers even makes me grin, because definitely, I would soon be considering whether I should still keep my present job or wave hello to other (hopefully greener) pasture(s) (If you ask Francis, he'd gladly tell you his take on this issue--the latter). It's weird, this feeling. I have never been this happy nor excited about such a big shift that would affect my whole life. It's like after getting married, I have all the excuses in the world to change, too--some things I may not even have control of (like how big my belly would get because of a baby bump; I would finally be getting fat!).

Of course, it's not all wonderful butterflies in my tummy. I'm also scared. I wouldn't know how I can handle all those 180-degree turns, or what would come next, or if making decisions and coming up with the answer would be as easy as choosing between wearing flat shoes or stacked heels. But the Lord will be my fortress. OUR fortress. And I shall be with THE man He gave exclusively and generously to me.

I never thought that having to face many looming major changes in my life would be this deliciously exciting!

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